Wow, what a question. Have you taken an honest look at your life recently to see if loving yourself is in your blind spot?
What you don’t see are the obstacles in the way from you truly loving and honoring yourself in your life. That’s why it’s in your blind spot.
You might think that going to the gym, getting your mani and pedi and shopping might be acts of self-love. But those are just the surface levels of love. Those are external forms of self-love.
The obstacles that are in the way might be a belief that you are unlovable, that came from your childhood. Another obstacle might be your critical self that always sees what’s wrong with you. Perhaps one of your parents treated you that way. And now you treat yourself that way.
Only you can change the behavior or pattern that is blocking your deep authentic love for yourself.
Yesterday I was in conversation with a woman about her experience around self-love. She recently went to an event that allowed her to see her resentments in her life. Unbeknownst to her, those resentments were an obstacle in her life.
She had an opportunity to look at her life and release the obstacles. She was amazed at this awareness and then how she felt so much love for herself! She felt a powerful shift from surviving to thriving in her life. And then she asked me:
“Do you think we naturally love ourselves?”
I believe that at our core we are love. I believe that as we come into the world as beautiful precious babies we know that love. As we grow older and experience life’s pains and trauma, that innocence is lost and we forget that love.
Then what happens is that we consciously or unconsciously choose unloving behaviors towards ourselves.
We speak to ourselves with critical statements. That is unloving.
We look externally for love. The next relationship. The next car. That is unloving.
We make choices to please other people, even though we know inside its not a self honoring choice. That is unloving.
We fill our lives and calendars with so many activities. We say YES to everything. Then we over extend ourselves to exhaustion. That is unloving.
So the key to loving yourself is to become consciously aware of your relationship you have with yourself. Slow down. Spend some time with yourself and reflect inside.
The more you unlearn the unloving behaviors, patterns and actions, then you can learn to create a more loving relationship with yourself, with behaviors that are self-honoring and self-loving.
The love is naturally there. The key is to move into that loving that is always there.
“Loving yourself…does not mean being self-absorbed or narcissistic, or disregarding others. Rather it means welcoming yourself as the most honored guest in your own heart, a guest worthy of respect, a lovable companion.” ~ Margo Anand
If you are ready to take a look at your life, call me. You deserve to be the most honored guest in your own heart!