Releasing My Triggers and Upsets…..Yes, it’s possible!

As I am preparing the curriculum for my next Heartfelt Learning Workshop session, “The Steps to Issue Resolution,” I am blessed to reflect on my own journey of understanding how to resolve  triggers, upsets and issues with myself and others.   I love to share my wisdom in my workshops and coaching because I have been (in the past) there in the pain, upset, anger, negative emotion and all the other icky feelings.  However at that time, I did not know what to do with these feelings.  The thought of upsetting others just kept me in fear and frozen.  So I did what I knew….kept on plugging away and living my unconscious life.

I remember early in my emotional healing and spiritual awakening in 2005, I had no idea what any of this meant.  I was living life in a very unconscious way and simply reacting to the chaos of the individuals in my life.  I had given chunks of myself to my family and expected them to love me in return.  And when they did not (or could not), I was easily triggered into anger and then resentment.  But because I was the “good wife, mother, sister, daughter….,” I did not show my anger.  I only repressed it and kept it inside.  What a surprise when it began to leak out in unattractive ways.

In learning more about triggers, I realized that I might as well have a key pad attached to my heart in dealing with certain individuals in my life.  They knew what buttons to push!  I was triggered all the time, and just became small when triggered.  I felt helpless and hopeless.  In my healing resources, I learned how to not give away my power and to stand up for myself.  I could speak my truth and be in my own personal power.  I learned to be more conscious of how I was with myself and others.   I learned that I did not have to give in to someone and answer right away and even to say “no” as a complete sentence.  As I learned the tools and steps to resolve my inner disturbances and began to practice them, I began building my inner strength.  This strength was truly from the inside out.   I utilized my affirmations to continue to build this deep inner strength.

What was truly miraculous was that every time I encountered those individuals, after my inner work, they were no longer triggers for me.  I had removed the key pad from my heart.  My original thought was that even if they tried to trigger me, my buttons were not there anymore.  The truth was that I took responsibility for my triggers and behaviors.  So as my behavior changed, their behavior changed.  I had moved from a place of anger and judgment to a space of loving and compassion for myself and those in my life.  My relationships evolved as I evolved.

I still find from time to time that something might begin to create an upset within me, however I am now immediately conscious of it and my behavior.  I move into these steps and process it quickly so I can find my place of peace inside.  It reminds me of  a favorite quote from one of my professors at the University of Santa Monica, Dr. Ron Hulnick,Every time one person resolves one issue, all of humanity evolves.”

Come and learn more about these steps for yourself at my next Heartfelt Learning Workshop , Wednesday May 25, “The Steps to Issue Resolution”. I’d love to share with you!

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