Your Resolutions….the Secrets to Keeping Them

Are you excited about the newness of 2012?  Have you already made some resolutions and began practicing them? Does it feel good?  Do you want to keep that good feeling and make those changes permanent and not just a memory when March rolls around?

Here are a few of my secrets for creating goals/intentions to change behaviors that can move you in the direction of the goals you want to achieve.  The New Year is a good time to begin, but you can create change any day of the year.

1.  Be realistic with your intentions/goals.  If you want to loose 20 pounds, you need a plan to assist you.  Maybe your goal is manage your food intake and increase your exercise.  Track your food and track your exercise.  The weight will come off based upon your body age, shape and size.

2. Take small steps with your goals/intentions. Break up the big goal into manageable pieces so that the task at hand is not too daunting.  Say you want to learn to paint.  Break up the goals into steps….I will research painting techniques online….I will research painting classes in my area….I will enroll in a class…..I will purchase my materials….

3. Write down your goals/intentions. Just the kinesthetic act of writing this information down activates it into your consciousness and makes it more real instead of just thinking about it.  You also send a message to the Universe about what your desire and commitment is.

4. Acknowledge yourself when you achieve your successes, even the small ones. It is very powerful to have positive thoughts about yourself and the actions you take to achieve your successes.  Saying kind and loving things to yourself activates the positive energy within your mind and body….creating wellness within You.

5. Let go of what is no longer serving you. If something is not bringing value to yourself, whether it is thoughts, feelings, relationships, habits…let them go and release them so that they don’t drain your positive energy.  Write on a piece of paper any negative thoughts or feelings you have inside of you and burn the paper.  Release it from your Self.  Once again, the kinesthetic act of writing releases the negative energy from your body.  Don’t read it after you write it…just crumple it and safely burn it!

6. Have a support network. Whether it is a coach, counselor, friend, loved one…someone you can share you intentions/goals with who will support and love you along the way.  The more people in your support network, the more people you can turn to when you need assistance.

7. Watch as your positive steps become good habits. The more you change your thoughts, behaviors and actions, the more likely they just become part of your everyday life.  Embrace the change in you and your life!!

The New Year is upon us and a wonderful time for Self reflection and change.  You have the power to manifest anything you want in your life.  Be kind to yourself and remember that all change happens only one day at a time, one moment at a time. You are the greatest gift you can give yourself so begin today, right now.  Embrace this moment and celebrate YOU!!

 

Forgiveness as a Healing Tool

“Forgiveness is the fragrance a violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”  ~Mark Twain

Have you ever experienced the upset and anger for an injustice someone else did towards you?  Chances are you probably have.  Why?  Because we are human and this is a normal human experience.  These are human emotions that can be triggered by an outside event.  The upset and anger are what we feel inside within our emotional body.

The key here is, what you do with that upset and anger?  Do you internalize it and keep it inside or externalize it with emotional outbursts?  Do you hold grudges and resentments towards those individuals?  Do you hold on to those negative feelings for years and years?  Does this anger feed your “story” about the injustice?  Do you spew this anger onto others?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, I want you to know that there are other choices of how you look at a situation that has caused you this upset.  Here are some questions to ask yourself:

1.  How much energy am I expending on being angry and upset at this situation?

2.  Am I willing to give up my own personal energy to this situation?

3.  Have I acknowledged and processed my feelings in a healthy way…such as free-form writing or journaling?

4.  Am I judging the person or their behavior, and what are those judgments?

5.  Am I open to releasing the negative emotion from my SELF?

6.  Am I open to the healing power of forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a powerful healing process that is the inner action of giving love and compassion to our SELF and others.  It is the remedy to the pain and separation that anger, resentment and judgment causes. It is an action that acknowledges that we are human and, at times, our behavior is not what we want it to be.  Forgiveness is the release of the chains that hold us back from the peace we so deserve in our lives, despite the perceptions we created around the upsetting situation.

Forgiveness is truly the healing resource we have available to us in any situation. Perhaps this may all sound so very difficult for you, but I offer you these suggestions to experience.  When you move through these steps….and then through the forgiveness process….you will truly feel the release.

If you want to find out more about the forgiveness process, come to the next Heartfelt Learning Workshop session, “The Healing Power of Self Forgiveness” on Wednesday, June 22, 2011.  For more details: http://www.heartfeltworkforce.com/workshops/HeartfeltWorkshops5-5-11.pdf

Releasing My Triggers and Upsets…..Yes, it’s possible!

As I am preparing the curriculum for my next Heartfelt Learning Workshop session, “The Steps to Issue Resolution,” I am blessed to reflect on my own journey of understanding how to resolve  triggers, upsets and issues with myself and others.   I love to share my wisdom in my workshops and coaching because I have been (in the past) there in the pain, upset, anger, negative emotion and all the other icky feelings.  However at that time, I did not know what to do with these feelings.  The thought of upsetting others just kept me in fear and frozen.  So I did what I knew….kept on plugging away and living my unconscious life.

I remember early in my emotional healing and spiritual awakening in 2005, I had no idea what any of this meant.  I was living life in a very unconscious way and simply reacting to the chaos of the individuals in my life.  I had given chunks of myself to my family and expected them to love me in return.  And when they did not (or could not), I was easily triggered into anger and then resentment.  But because I was the “good wife, mother, sister, daughter….,” I did not show my anger.  I only repressed it and kept it inside.  What a surprise when it began to leak out in unattractive ways.

In learning more about triggers, I realized that I might as well have a key pad attached to my heart in dealing with certain individuals in my life.  They knew what buttons to push!  I was triggered all the time, and just became small when triggered.  I felt helpless and hopeless.  In my healing resources, I learned how to not give away my power and to stand up for myself.  I could speak my truth and be in my own personal power.  I learned to be more conscious of how I was with myself and others.   I learned that I did not have to give in to someone and answer right away and even to say “no” as a complete sentence.  As I learned the tools and steps to resolve my inner disturbances and began to practice them, I began building my inner strength.  This strength was truly from the inside out.   I utilized my affirmations to continue to build this deep inner strength.

What was truly miraculous was that every time I encountered those individuals, after my inner work, they were no longer triggers for me.  I had removed the key pad from my heart.  My original thought was that even if they tried to trigger me, my buttons were not there anymore.  The truth was that I took responsibility for my triggers and behaviors.  So as my behavior changed, their behavior changed.  I had moved from a place of anger and judgment to a space of loving and compassion for myself and those in my life.  My relationships evolved as I evolved.

I still find from time to time that something might begin to create an upset within me, however I am now immediately conscious of it and my behavior.  I move into these steps and process it quickly so I can find my place of peace inside.  It reminds me of  a favorite quote from one of my professors at the University of Santa Monica, Dr. Ron Hulnick,Every time one person resolves one issue, all of humanity evolves.”

Come and learn more about these steps for yourself at my next Heartfelt Learning Workshop , Wednesday May 25, “The Steps to Issue Resolution”. I’d love to share with you!