What are Your Triggers?

What happens to you when you get triggered by something in your world?

Maybe it’s something as simple as a slow driver in traffic and you are late to work?

Or maybe it a negative comment from your Mother?

Or maybe something your partner did….or DIDN’T do?

Or maybe your boss pointed out something wrong with the project you put your heart and soul into?

All of these can be triggers for you, in turn causing an upset inside of you.

Then what happens? Rage, anger, bitterness and resentment? Suffering inside?

These are all normal human responses to your world.  However, you DO have choices that you can make between the stimulus and response of what is happening inside of you.

You can choose to:

  1. Explode your emotions, yell and scream, blame everyone and everything for your upset.
  2. Hide your upset, emotions and keep it all locked up inside.
  3. Feel your feelings. See what is the deeper level of the trigger. Take responsibility for your upset. Heal the wound inside of you.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
~Viktor E. Frankl

You DO have a choice.

I can share with you from personal experience, that #1 and #2 don’t resolve the suffering inside.  In the past, not knowing any better, I unconsciously choose the screaming response. It is not very attractive and it took much of my precious energy.

Then there was a period in my life where I thought that being quiet and keeping my anger inside and diffused was a better choice.  Repressing emotions, also not a good choice as it manifested into illness in my body.

Have you experienced the pain of an upset and unconsciously choose response #1 or #2?

If you want to find a resolution to your upset and bring peace to yourself, then response #3 is the best choice. However, it takes conscious awareness of what’s going on inside of you AND the willingness to take responsibility for your upset.

“Only you can take dominion over your consciousness.”~ Dr. Mary Hulnick

If, in the midst of the space between your stimulus and response of your trigger, you choose response #3, here are the steps I suggest you move through to find freedom from the suffering inside of yourself:

  1. Recognize the trigger and give yourself some space.
  2. Feel your feelings, angry, upset, mad….allow yourself to FEEL them.
  3. Take 100% responsibility for your upset.
  4. Rise above your life as an observer and see what is really happening.
  5. Look to see what the upset is REALLY about…then go deeper. The thing is never the thing.
  6. Move into self-forgiveness for any judgements you might have towards yourself and others.
  7. Now as you have released your judgments, you can see the truth in the situation.
  8. Repeat as necessary.

“Every time one person heals an issue, all of humanity evolves.” ~Dr. Ron Hulnick

You do have the power to heal your triggers and upsets. Peace and freedom are on the other side of the suffering.

nourish-your-soulMaybe you are dealing with a trigger and upset right now in your life.

Ask yourself how bad do you want to heal?

Are you ready to see the truth?

Are you ready to take responsibility for your own upset without blaming another person?

Are you ready heal your own suffering?

If you are ready, use these steps to begin your healing.

I would love to hear your feedback in how this post can support you in finding peace and freedom from your suffering. And as always, if you need some support with this, I invite you to reach out to me.

Much love,

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What can you do?

What can you do?

It seems like every day more chaos erupts in the world.

How does it make you feel? Angry, bitter, hateful? It might be easy to jump to these negative feelings.

But adding hate to hate does not solve the problem. And you can’t solve the world’s problems yourself.

What can you do in your world to make a difference?

First, you can send love and blessings to all the individuals connected with the violent situations. You can send this love and light to all concerned for their highest good.

Next, look to see where you might have chaos in your life. Where do you have judgements towards others?

Where do you create separation from others?

Then you can look to see if you are open to forgiving your judgments towards the other person or persons. This can be tricky as I suggest forgiving your judgments against the person, not forgiving the person.

This doesn’t condone their behavior, but it releases you from your suffering. This is your barrier to loving energy.

Then send love and light to the other person. They don’t even have to know. Have compassion for both of you. See the truth in whatever the situation might be.

Be the loving example.

I have asked myself this question recently, “What can I do?” I have taken a deep dive myself into what my chaos is. Yes, I still get triggered and upset at situations…I’m still human!

I easily found the person(s) whom I had judgements towards. I moved through the forgiveness process. I have sent the love. I actually send them love and light every day in my prayers.

What would it feel like for you to release your chaos?

Peaceful, free, expansive, open, and light.  I know because this is what I’m feeling now that I am in the process of healing the chaos in my heart.

What would the world be like if we all took responsibility for our chaos and took action to heal it?

This may only be an small step, yet the world is ready for many small steps of healing. This reminds me of the quote by my beloved mentor, Dr. Ron Hulnick from the University of Santa Monica;

vision1Every time one person resolves one issue, all of humanity evolves.”

I challenge you to take a look into your world. Maybe your chaos and judgment is towards another person, or maybe it is towards yourself.

How can you heal yourself and let it be part of the collective healing of humanity.

That’s what you can do. 

Sending you much love, light and healing,

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I am here to be seen.

Have you ever felt like you wanted to be invisible so no one can see you? Where it is easier to blend into the woodwork and hide?

“I am here to be seen.”  I could hear those words coming from my own mouth, but my voice cracked and got real small.

One of the first activities Robert Holden shared with me and 87 other coaches this past July at the University of Santa Monica Soul-Centered Coaching Lab, was to partner with someone and say these words.  And their response was, “I see you.” Each morning we spent about 5 minutes partnering with different people to speak both of these messages and show that we were present and open to be seen.

Robert guided us each of our 5 days through this activity to begin our day of learning with him.

“I am here to be seen” and “I see you.”

Here is 7 year old Chrissy 🙂

After realizing how “small” my voice became, I focused and shifted my energy to be strong, confident and present. I felt a powerful shift inside myself. And yet……

…….this small voice was not to be ignored.  Whose small voice was this?  Whose voice was struggling with being seen?

It was my little girl. It was little Chrissy.  She was hesitant about being seen. Her belief was that if you are seen, then people will make fun of you.

With the help of my coach and doing some self-inquiries, I discovered that my sweet 7 year old experienced a little trauma that shut  her down and created a fear about “being seen.”

I remember being in the 2nd grade and our teacher was introducing us to oral reports. I was so excited about this experience that I raised my hand and said I wanted to go first the next day.

Right away I knew that I wanted to do a report on a flower that intrigued me.  I went home with so much energy inside to find out facts about this flower so I could share in my report.

So the next day, I was loaded with enthusiasm and excitement.

I was first to share and then sat down with a huge smile on my face.  However, after I listened to each report by the other students, my excitement diminished.

Everyone else’s reports were better than mine.  Mine was boring in comparison.

Yes, I compared their reports to mine and it was no longer special and exciting. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my work.

chrissy 7 yrs

Sweet little Chrissy 🙂

In my 7 year old mind, I compared my work to others and it wasn’t good enough.

In my 7 year old mind, I created separation.

In my 7 year old mind, the other kids were better and smarter than me.

I experienced comparison and then separation.

The message I created in my 7 year old mind was, “Don’t raise your hand, you will embarrass yourself; Your work isn’t as good at the other kids; It’s better to not be seen than be embarrassed”

This stuck with me for a long time. I learned how to hide in the woodwork  and not be seen. That was easier and safe.

Isn’t it interesting to see how the perception of a small child can create a belief that stays with them through their adult life?

Can you relate to judging yourself as not being good enough and comparing yourself to others?

Fast forward to the present:

I’ve spent the past 6 years growing my coaching/consulting practice and “being seen” in front of many groups.  I still get squeamish and nervous when I get in front of a crowd.  And yes, my voice cracks sometimes.

I have been working on healing those little wounds and changing my beliefs around being seen.

I have done some inner work with little Chrissy to let her know that its ok to been seen.  There is nothing to fear or be embarrassed about.

I let her know that what she has to say and share with the world, matters.

I let her know that she is learning and sometimes that means failing and trying again.

I let her know that she is loved and she doesn’t have anything to fear.

I’m the adult and I will be seen for both of us.

She is part of me, and as I’m healing this part of me, I can own my power and my grace to be seen.

Sometimes it is the little traumas that we don’t realize are getting in our way.

When your little one gets in the way of your success, it is time to take a look at who is really showing up in your life.

Ask yourself this question…….Is it your adult, or your little one, who is blocking your success? 

Here I am posing on the big stage at the eWomenNetwork Conference!

Here I am posing on the big stage at the eWomenNetwork Conference!

Fast forward to today:

I am being guided to make a bigger presence and bigger impact to share my message to bigger groups. I met an amazing speaker coach at the eWomenNetwork International Conference in August who is helping me strengthen my skills as a professional speaker and messenger.

I am standing in MY truth and sharing with the world my message about living consciously and creating more peace, love and equanimity in our lives.

I am standing in MY truth and teaching practical tools to women and men, about how to eliminate their self imposed suffering with worry, anxiety, fear and anger.

I am standing in MY truth and doing my own inner work and be the change I want to see in the world.

I am standing in MY truth to learn, grow and evolve as a professional coach, trainer AND speaker to share my message  with the world.

Can you relate to my story either as a child or an adult? Where are you hiding in your life?

I am here to be seen. And I see you.

With much love and gratitude,

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I am the one who chooses.

“Grace is perfect, even when my life isn’t.”  ~Deepak Chopra:

Manifesting Grace through Gratitude Meditation

Have you ever experienced a time when you felt like you were hit with one crisis after another?

As I consciously let go of more chaos, noise and clutter in my life, I am experiencing these “crises” differently.

While journaling in my morning pages last week, this poem came forward from me to write. I want to share it with you:

Life is filled with joys, sorrows, traumas and happiness. Each experience is in service for me to learn.

I am the one who chooses.

I choose how to experience it.

I choose to see the truth or the lie.Lesson 6 - powerful in all decision making

I choose to act or react.

I choose to see the lesson or the story.

I choose joy or sorrow.

I choose love or fear.

I choose to see the truth, the right action, the healing lesson, the joy and the love.

I have the power of my own choice.

I am the one who chooses.

Since I wrote this, I have been challenged with a few “crises” and came back to the poem as a powerful reminder of the choices I had.

I hope it supports you when your life isn’t perfect.

With much love and gratitude,

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6 Empowering Steps to Build Your Inner Freedom

When you look at your life, what do you need to let go of?  What drains your power on a regular basis?  Does it bring you suffering?

Are you ready to take the steps to release it and feel the peace inside?

You may find yourself all knotted up when you think about what you should let go of in your life.  It could be toxic people, old beliefs, hurts from the past, anger and resentment, emotional weight or even self defeating behaviors.  When you take some quality reflective time, you will discover exactly what it is you need to release from your life.

At one time or another, I had all of the above hanging on to me.  I have been blessed to have experience the pain (yes, blessed) because it moved me action to find better solutions to my pain.  In my own life journey, I have learned the following steps that have helped me find my own inner peace:

1.  Take the quiet time to go inside and reflect.  Be honest with yourself and look to see what it is that you are ready to let go of.

2.  Write down what it is, relationships, hurts, behaviors, etc.  Acknowledge it in writing.  Take a look at it.

3.  Build your resource team to help you let go, support you, keep you accountable and celebrate with you when you have released. This could be a trusted friend, therapist or coach.

4.  Create your action plan and move into it.  One step at a time. Be courageous and vulnerable.

5.  Acknowledge yourself every step of the way of your release.  It may be simple and quick or it may take some time.  Be patient and loving to yourself along the way.

6.  Keep reminding yourself that every self honoring choice moves you closer to your inner peace and freedom.

You will find this letting go process very self empowering and freeing.  And here is the best part of the letting go process….

You can bring what you truly desire into your life now.  Bring on all the goodness!

I know that I’m ready to let go of procrastinating about writing my blogs and videos!  I’m ready to let go of that perfectionist voice in my head that says its not good enough.  I’m not a perfectionist because I’m always a work in progress!

How about you?  What are you ready to let go of?  I’d love to hear about what you are ready to let go of in the comment section below. Remember when you declare it, you make it real!!!

Much love and light,

 

 

 

 

Your Power: Authentic or Egoic?

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.”
~Lao-Tzu~

When do you feel powerful?  When you feel confident and in your integrity?  Or when you feel smarter, better and “above” someone else?

I was part of a table top discussion with some professional women this week and we were asked, “when do you feel powerful?”   It was very insightful to hear the different perspectives of what the word meant to them.

Most of these ladies shared that they felt empowered when they were in their integrity, knowledge, mastery, authentic self and being of service to help others.

Their power came from within.

When they made honoring choices that aligned with their value system, they became powerful within themselves.  They also strengthened their inner power when:

  • When they didn’t accept poor behavior from others.
  • When they said ‘no’ to things that didn’t serve them.
  • When they made choices that weren’t popular, but they were the right thing to do.

Their power, integrity and self-respect were obvious to others.

However it was interesting that some ladies were turned off by the word “powerful” and felt negative emotions towards the word.  Not knowing their past experiences, perhaps they had (or still have) someone in their life who has power over them.  Everyone’s perceptions are different and come from their past experiences and beliefs systems.

It’s easy to give your power up to someone else.  When you own your power, no one can take it from you.  That is true authentic power, not egoic power.

About ten years ago, I didn’t fully understand my own personal power.  Since then, after years of conscious reflection and healing, I can see clearly how I used to give up my power.  Now I know the difference and own my inner power.  My life’s lessons have helped me learn this.  You too, can reflect and make different choices in your life about your power.

Take a look at your life.  Do you live your life aligned with your value system?  Do you know your value system?  Do you strive to live in your integrity every day?  When do you feel powerful or empowered?  

I would love to hear from you in the comment section below about when you feel powerful or empowered.  Easy, simple.  I’d love to know. Thanks for sharing!

Much love and light,

 

9 Steps to Dissolve Your Fear

Does fear have its hold on you?  Do you find it challenging to make changes in your life, because of fear? Do you feel like you are missing out on the good things in life because you are afraid to take the steps to get you there?

Are you afraid of the unknown future, so you don’t do anything?

You are not alone.  You are like many of us who want to find more inner peace, but somehow fear has paralyzed you.   At your evolutionary roots, fear comes from your fight or flight reflexes within your brain to keep you safe from harm.

Your thoughts of fear are what stop you in your tracks.

No need to let fear control your life anymore!  When you take the time to look deep inside yourself you can transmute fear to be part of your support system.

Not too long ago, I lived in fear of change and failure.   When I finally moved to a place in my life where I had the courage to change (because I wanted it bad enough!) I acknowledged my fear and stepped into it anyway.

Here are the 9 steps that guided me, and will help you release the hold that fear has on you:

1.  Take a deep look at how fear exists in your life.

2.  Have a dialog with fear and find out its deeper purpose for you.

3.  Ask fear to take on a new supportive role in your life.

4.  Take a look at what you really want in your life where fear is your obstacle.

5.  Visualize yourself already in action living your dream, with fear by your side in its new role.

6.  Thank your fear for its old role and celebrate its new role.

7.  Create action steps to manifest your dream, with fear in its new role.

8.  Take your steps one by one as you move closer to your dream.

9.  Celebrate your courage as you manifest your dream and you live your life to its fullest!

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”  ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Take back your power and the control fear has on you.  Each time you move into action with these steps, you become stronger and build your courage muscles.  Your fear will become smaller and smaller each time.  You will find yourself ready to take on any challenge, and you will have a new relationship with fear as a support instead of roadblock.

You have the power to dissolve your fear.  You’ve had it all along.

When you want change bad enough, you can make anything happen!  I hope that these steps are helpful to you and if you feel they may help someone you know, please share this blog with them, and your friends on Facebook and Twitter on the buttons below.

I would also love to hear what has helped you dissolve fear in your life, so please share in the comment section below!

 

Much love and light,

 

Are you Paying Attention to Signs and Synchronicities?

Do you sometimes wonder if God is trying to send you messages?  Do things happen in your life and you wonder if you are supposed to pay attention to a deeper meaning of what’s going on right in front of you?

Time to pay attention.

When you become more conscious of your life, through intentions or reflections, you will see how the divine messages come to you.  Conscious awareness to the signs and synchronicities that show up in your life can be an eye opener and not just a coincidence.

It took me while, and when I began to pay attention, I was amazed.

My personal journey of conscious awareness began about seven years ago when I was in the midst of what I call my mid-life reflection.  I took a look at my life and asked myself if I was happy.  I could see the chaos and dysfunction in me and around me.  I stopped blaming others for my unhappiness, took responsibility for it and dove head first into the discovery and healing of me.

As soon as I made the shift to conscious awareness, I could finally see my divine path of happiness right in front of me.

I paid attention to my energy and how I felt in the presence of other people.  I learned to let go of those relationships that drained my energy.  I was then guided to more positive and loving relationships in my personal and professional life.  Those relationships are the ones that fueled my positive energy.

When I would ask God for a sign to guide me, it would be shown.  Not necessarily in my timing, but in divine timing. 

This was a sign given to me by a fellow USM student. She picked me out of the crowd and gave it to me. It surely was an obvious sign for me!

I had to be patient and trust that I would be guided.  Sometimes the sign would clearly indicate where I was NOT supposed to be.  Then I would change paths instead of trying to force my will on something that was not meant to be.

When you follow the signs that bring you to your divine path, life actually becomes more peaceful and joyful.

When you take the time to reflect on your life, pay close attention to what manifests in your life.  Here are my simple take away tips for you to follow your divine path:

1.      Take quiet time to pray and meditate each morning and set your intentions for your day, not your to-do list, but intentions of how you want to be.

2.      Ask God (or whatever your higher power might be) to show you signs of your divine path.

3.      At the end of each day, take time to reflect and review what messages you may have been shown.

4.      Let go of any negative attitudes, actions and behaviors that no longer serve you or your path.

5.      Acknowledge your gratitude for all the goodness and lessons in your life.

I challenge you to move into these action steps to discover more about your divine path. Begin today!

If you have already experienced the divinity of signs and synchronicities in your life, I’d LOVE to hear about them!  Share here in the comment section below.  If you love this post and think that it would be helpful to your peeps, please share it.  Enjoy your journey!!

 

Much love and light,

My Quantum Leap: This is MY life, I am who I WANT to be

I had the most empowering experience this past week on a visit to Miraval, the most amazing resort + spa.  As much as I loved the world class facility, the meals, the spa services, the specialists and the amazing staff….the most exhilarating experience came from the The Quantum Leap.

Climbing a 25′ telephone pole and then standing and balancing on a 9″ circle plate.  And then jumping.  Not too easy and scary as hell, but I was up for it!

I had been told that this was a life changing experience and I should do it.  Being the evolved woman I am, and knowing that I grow from stepping into my fear, I signed up.

The following is what I penned right after my experience.  My thoughts were filled with lots of adrenaline and this is exactly how it came out (please excuse the short sentences!):

Wow. Power.  Fear.  Apprenhension.  Easy climb up.  Whoa, the top came quick.  Oh shit.

Look around.  Ask for help.  Trust my team down below.

 

At the top. How does this work.  Not safe.  Yes safe.  

Trust.  Figure it out.  One step at a time.  What feels right. There.

Use my own power.  Stand slow and tall.  Shaking.

Breathe.  Breathe deep.  Relaxing into my power.

 

Wow. Look at what I can see.  So many possibilities.  

Move around to see more.

Balance.  Brave. Powerful.  Strong.  

What a view. “I’m living an awesome and bodacious life,

I’m stepping out!”

 

 

Whoa!  Freedom.  Letting go.  

Trust.  Joy.  Exilaration.  Big ass rush.

I did it!

 

 

Do you have a challenge right in front of you?  Is fear holding you back from stepping into either a challenge or to live the life of your dreams?  Are you who you want to be?  Here are some Quantum Leap metaphor tips to get you past your fear:

1.      Acknowledge your fear and have the courage to step into it anyways.

2.      Trust that you will be divinely guided.

3.      Ask for help.

4.      Take one step at a time.

5.      Breath after each step.

6.      Trust.

7.      Own your power.

8.      Acknowledge yourself along your journey.

9.      See the possibilities.

10.   Trust.

11.   Embrace the freedom and joy.

This is your life, are you who you want to be?  I just have to close with this awesome video that sends me right back to my Quantum Leap and Miraval experience.  I hope it inspires you to be WHO YOU WANT TO BE!

 

Much love + light,

Getting Things Done: Vision + Action = Completion

Do you have a creative project inside you waiting to be born?  Or perhaps you have a difficult phone call to make?

Either of these situations, one positive and one negative, may be weighing on your mind and heart.  Both situations can use your valuable energy. Is that where you really want to spend your energy….in the “not done yet” or “I’ll get to it later” pile in your head? So here is my simple advice regarding getting things done……..

JUST DO IT!!!

Nike says it best, just do it.

Don’t ponder or procrastinate any more.

Move into action.

Move it to the top of your list.

Just do it.

See yourself already there.

If you have a project or dream you are visioning, see yourself already there.  Picture it complete in your mind’s eye.  Feel the excitement inside you, the satisfaction and joy of completion.  Now reverse engineer and work your steps backwards.  Break it into small doable steps and create your action plan. You may not have everything figured out yet, that’s OK, just TAKE THAT FIRST STEP.

I love the Fire Starter Sessions!

I did this exercise a few weeks ago when I was reading, The Fire Starter Sessions by Danielle LaPorte.  I had a creative project I had been dreaming about for the last 6 months, but kept it as a dream because I hadn’t move it into action.  Then I MOVED into action after reading Danielle’s book, and the project just took off!! (P.S. – you will see the end result in a few months!)

Try these steps even with the tough stuff.

If your to-do is challenging like facing a difficult relative or employee, again vision yourself in a respectful conversation that keeps all parties above board. Set your intention of how you want the conversation to be.  And then….JUST DO IT.

Yep, I too had that dreaded phone call to make. What was I so afraid of?  Why was I holding back?  I used the same process of visioning it positive, and that’s exactly how it showed up. What a relief for both of us as the wall came down.

Just take that first step.

Taking the first step and breaking through your fears of beginning is all you need to do, and then…take the next step…and the next step….you get it.  Every step gets you closer to completion and the sense of accomplishment and the joy it will bring you.

OK, now it’s your turn. I’d love to have you share how you took a dream (or challenge) and moved it into action. What steps did you take that moved you forward?  And if you felt like this blog was valuable to you, please share it with your peeps with the buttons below!