All Roads Lead Back to Self-Love

I spent this past month working with some amazing women, first at my Mountain Retreat in Flagstaff and secondly as a workshop facilitator at the 26th Annual YWCA Leadership Conference in Tucson.

The women at my retreat put aside 3 days to “Listen to the Whispers of their Soul” and every one of them came away with the awareness that every dream they had in their busy lives was missing one important piece.  Their deep and intimate love for themselves.

ALL ROADS LEAD BACK TO SELF-LOVE.

At the YWCA Leadership Conference, 400+ women honored themselves by committing a full day to learn how to design their own lives, do good business and IMG_1044 (2)create a smarter world. In my workshop I spoke to a standing room only crowd of women who wanted to know how to “Build themselves from the Inside Out”.

What they learned was that making self-honoring choices in their lives was the foundation for their self-mastery and self-love.

ALL ROADS LEAD BACK TO SELF-LOVE.

In my experience as a coach working with my clients, no matter what challenge they might be facing or journey they might be stepping into …all roads lead back to their self-love.

It could be the busy professional who doesn’t know how to slow down to make time for her self care. She is still hearing the old tape in her head that “it’s not good enough” so she keeps working harder and harder.

SELF-LOVE IS CHANGING THE WAY SHE SPEAKS TO HERSELF TO BE LOVING, KIND AND SUPPORTIVE, AND CREATING WHITE SPACE IN HER DAY FOR REJUVENATION.

It could be the Mom who has given her whole life for her family and continues to give, and she is exhausted and running on empty. And she is bitter and anger and her perception is that her family doesn’t appreciate all she does for them.

SELF-LOVE IS LEARNING TO SAY NO TO OTHERS IN A COMPLETE SENTENCE AND LETTING GO OF CODEPENDENT AND CARE-TAKING BEHAVIORS.

It could be the woman who doesn’t like the woman she sees in the mirror each day. She loathes to even look at herself. She judges her lookspositive-self-talk as not pretty enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, not enough, not enough etc.

SELF-LOVE IS SEEING HER BEAUTY DEEP INSIDE OF HERSELF, LOVING AND APPRECIATING HERSELF EXACTLY AS SHE IS IN HER OWN MAGNIFICENCE.

It could be the entrepreneur who is stepping into her true calling of serving others and she holds herself back because she has an old tape from her childhood that says, “Who do you think you are? You can’t do that!”

i-thought loving younger selfSELF-LOVE IS LOVING THAT YOUNG ONE INSIDE OF HER WHO KEPT HERSELF SMALL, AND LETTING HER KNOW THAT SHE IS BEAUTIFUL, SWEET, PURE AND INTEGRATING HER BACK INSIDE INSTEAD OF REJECTING HER.

I believe that Self-Love is the foundation for all well being and healing. I have experienced the lack of self-love myself. When I finally learned the baby steps of loving myself, I saw how strong I became from the inside out. This is the strength I brought to my world to create my life and career as I desired.

ALL ROADS TO HEALING AND WELL BEING LEAD BACK TO SELF-LOVE.

i-thought love myself

The theme of the YWCA Leadership Conference was about being a changemaker. All of the women who attended where challenged by Kelly Fryer, the Executive Director of YWCA Tucson, to see where they can be a changemaker in their world. It really made me think about how I could be a changemaker.  Then I realized that I already am a changemaker.

My mission is to help people become more self-aware of their lives and to strengthen in their Self-Love.

Have you taken some sacred time to look at your life and evaluate how you love yourself?  It is necessary to your wholeness and well being in your life.  All roads lead back to self-love.

Much love,

chris-signature

6 Empowering Steps to Build Your Inner Freedom

When you look at your life, what do you need to let go of?  What drains your power on a regular basis?  Does it bring you suffering?

Are you ready to take the steps to release it and feel the peace inside?

You may find yourself all knotted up when you think about what you should let go of in your life.  It could be toxic people, old beliefs, hurts from the past, anger and resentment, emotional weight or even self defeating behaviors.  When you take some quality reflective time, you will discover exactly what it is you need to release from your life.

At one time or another, I had all of the above hanging on to me.  I have been blessed to have experience the pain (yes, blessed) because it moved me action to find better solutions to my pain.  In my own life journey, I have learned the following steps that have helped me find my own inner peace:

1.  Take the quiet time to go inside and reflect.  Be honest with yourself and look to see what it is that you are ready to let go of.

2.  Write down what it is, relationships, hurts, behaviors, etc.  Acknowledge it in writing.  Take a look at it.

3.  Build your resource team to help you let go, support you, keep you accountable and celebrate with you when you have released. This could be a trusted friend, therapist or coach.

4.  Create your action plan and move into it.  One step at a time. Be courageous and vulnerable.

5.  Acknowledge yourself every step of the way of your release.  It may be simple and quick or it may take some time.  Be patient and loving to yourself along the way.

6.  Keep reminding yourself that every self honoring choice moves you closer to your inner peace and freedom.

You will find this letting go process very self empowering and freeing.  And here is the best part of the letting go process….

You can bring what you truly desire into your life now.  Bring on all the goodness!

I know that I’m ready to let go of procrastinating about writing my blogs and videos!  I’m ready to let go of that perfectionist voice in my head that says its not good enough.  I’m not a perfectionist because I’m always a work in progress!

How about you?  What are you ready to let go of?  I’d love to hear about what you are ready to let go of in the comment section below. Remember when you declare it, you make it real!!!

Much love and light,

 

 

 

 

Transform to a New YOU for the New Year

As the New Year is upon us, for many it is a time for a new start.  A clean slate.  Out with the old and in with the new.  Time for a fresh start with new intentions, goals and resolutions. (Personally, I like using the word “intention” instead of resolution.  It has more energy and power!)

It is easy to get caught up in the same old, “I will start my exercise program”….”I will lose weight”…..I will take my vitamins”.  It seems that most of us set New Year’s Intentions that are focused on our physical or mental body.

How about a New Year’s intention that supports your Emotional and Spiritual Self?

These are significant areas in your life that are easy to skip over and forget. However, supporting your emotional and spiritual self can transform your way of being.  Yes, your way of being.  Who you are inside.  Your heart and soul, not just the funny body you happen to live in.

Here are some suggestions of New Year’s Intentions that will support your inner growth:

1.   I will consciously do at least 5 random acts of kindness a week.

2.   I will spend 5 minutes a day in quiet and stillness.

3.   I will spend time in nature at least 3 times a week.

4.   I will pay attention to my thoughts and when they are negative, I will shift them to positive thoughts with affirmations.

5.   I will take of my upsets and process them inside, instead of projecting them on someone else.

6.   I will end each day with gratitude in my heart for all my experiences that day.

7.   I will consciously do one joy filled activity a day to honor my love and respect for me.

Some of these intentions can be very simple if you are consciously aware of your actions and behaviors.  Setting intentions to change your way of being  can be very powerful for you and how you show up in your world.

Add just a few of these suggestions to your list of New Year’s Intentions and you will see changes in how you feel about yourself.  And most amazingly, the people around you will see and feel a difference in you.

Do you have any New Year’s Intentions that support your inner growth? 

Have you ever made these changes in your way of being and experiences a new you?  I’d love to hear from you!  Share in the comment section below.

Wishing you a Blessed, prosperous and life changing 2013!

Much love and light,

Owning Your Personal Power

Just the thought of the word “power” can bring many different perceptions to your mind.  To one person, it can mean energy, force, action, strength and drive.  To another person it can be viewed from a victim standpoint as dominance, ego, rule, authority or control.  It all depends upon how your perception of the world is viewed.

However, you have your own personal power that resides within you.  You also have the responsibility of how YOU show up in the world.  Do you have victim mentality or ownership mentality?  Are you reactive to what happens in your life?  Or are you proactive and own your power.

Your personal power can be tapped in to by looking inside yourself, not outside.  When you own your power, you can create your life how you want it.  No longer do you need to give your power to others or expect them to give it to you.  Here are some simple tips about how to activate your power and use it responsibly, wisely and lovingly.

1.  Activate you energy within you.  You can do this by focusing your thoughts and energy on your Third Chakra, in your Solar Plexus area (stomach, upper intestines, pancreas, liver area).  This is the area of your energy data bank that focuses on self worth, self esteem, self appreciation and how you show up in the world.

2.  Be aware of your power of choice.   In every moment you have choices of how you will be.  Someone asks you to do something that violates you personal values, what do you do?  State your self honoring choice out loud and allow it to activate within your consciousness.  Remember, ‘yes’ or ‘no’ can be a complete sentence!

3.  Love yourself, inside and out.  Use the power of your self love to make honoring choices in your life.  Don’t expect others to love you if you don’t love yourself first.  Loving yourself is about making self honoring choices every day in your life for your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well being.

4.  Speak your truth.  When you are in tune with the wisdom and power of your heart and gut, you will know what your truth is.  Don’t be afraid to speak up.   It may be difficult for others to hear your truth, but it is YOUR truth.  Make sure you honor that.  Use affirmations to speak your truth to yourself.  Tell yourself positive things about yourself and how you want your life to be.

5.  Connect with the power of your Spirit.  Having faith that there is a power greater than you can bring you to a place of loving confidence that you are not alone in this life.  Allowing the power of your Spirit within you to guide you, can assist you in seeing the Divine in you and the world around you.

Practicing these steps can be very empowering, enlightening and frightening at the same time.  If you are not used to using your personal power, take small baby steps.  You will see that when you are mindful about your personal power, you show up differently in the world.  And remember, it all begins from within.

Honor and Integrity Begin from Within

“To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”  ~William Shakespeare,

Have you ever been in a situation where you knew deep in your heart you should have said “no” to something, but you said “yes” anyway?

Recently I have been tested about being true to myself and the work I do.  A few years ago when I began my consulting practice, I had someone ask me to propose on a multitude of training programs.  As I was creating the material for the proposal, I had this feeling in my heart that was not comfortable.  Some topics I was an expert in and some I clearly was not. However, I was motivated to grow my business, I proposed it anyway.  In the end, I was not awarded the contract.  That was a huge lesson in listening to my heart.  A huge lesson in compromising myself for the almighty dollar.

As time went on and my practice grew, I became clearer and clearer about what my specialties are.  These are the areas where I am in my golden space and where I shine.  I know it in my heart and I feel it every time I meet with someone for a coaching session or stand in front of a large group to facilitate training.

I’ve had to ask myself…do I honor myself by listening to my inner voice and trust my gut?  Do I keep my honor code with myself?   Do I love and honor myself enough to turn away work if I won’t be authentic in it?  It’s taken me time (remember, I’m still human!) but the answers are yes to all these question.  I get to the yes a whole lot faster when I remember my honor code with myself.  As I’ve evolved in the wisdom of my life, I know that before I can have honor or integrity with others, I must have it for myself.

Have you spent reflective time to ask yourself……do I listen to my inner voice?  Do I trust my gut to tell me when something doesn’t “feel” right?  Do I make choices in my life that honor my Self?  Do I keep my word with myself?  Pay close attention next time you are given an opportunity to make an honoring choice for yourself.  You will truly feel the difference when you come from that deep place inside that is authentically you.

Life Balance: The Mindful Ability to Shift Between Energy Expenditure and Renewal

Do you every find yourself on permanent GO….always doing, doing and again doing?  Do you feel exhausted at the end of your day and your to-do list still has items to be done?  Do you get home and crash and unwind with alcohol or some mind numbing activity?

Living life from an unconscious perspective can put us in the life described above.  Our energy, not time, is the fundamental resources for a balanced life.  If you are not spending enough time in rest, renewal and healing, you may find yourself in a burn out space.

Take some quality reflection time to look at your life.  Where do you spending your energy?  Do you misuse your energy on people, activities and situations that don’t serve you?  Are you surrounding yourself with unhealthy relationships that drain you?    What do you do for your own personal renewal, joy and well being?  Do you spend quality time for YOU filling your cup?

The key to balancing your life is the mindful ability to shift between energy expenditure and energy renewal.   I say mindful because YOU are the only one who can make the conscious decisions to eliminate your energy drainers and add your energy fuelers!  You have the choice to decide how you want to live your life.  Your balance between the four dimensions of your SELF: Physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Your ability to nurture those parts are the key to the healthy balance of your life.

Honor yourself today and take some quiet time and ask yourself this question:  Do I love and care enough about my SELF and my well being?  Find that balance in your life and YOU will be the one to reap the benefits!

Listen…Honor…Care…Trust…

It has been six weeks since I began teaching my Heartfelt Learning Workshops Series sessions and what a joy it has been to share with such wonderful people!  The words I have listed above are what I had the privilege to experience happening inside of each and every participant.  Experiencing the openness of everyone to learn and watch the group connect each time we met, has touched my heart.

As I was teaching the group how to live life from a more open hearted perspective, I watched their hearts expand within themselves and with each other.  They learned to listen to themselves differently and were much more aware and in tuned to listen to others.  They even shared how much more aware they were of others in their lives who don’t listen!  I loved when one participant was listening to a sharing of another, and then they reflected back what they heard in front of the group, and then watched the entire group engage deeply into the heart centered listening process!

We shared what an ideal scene of what a healthy and whole person looks like.  Loving and honoring one’s SELF are the steps to that picture of healthiness and wholeness.  Here are a few statements we shared:

A Healthy and Whole Person….

…..has healthy boundaries with others in their life.

…..can give and receive love.

…..has their own voice.

…..can say NO as a complete sentence.

…..is available to see the truth.

…..has positive loving self thoughts.

…..accepts responsibility for their own upset.

…..trusts their own judgment.

The learning process allowed each participant to evaluate their life and explore where their energy drainers and fuelers were, and to create some action steps to find a better balance and care for themselves.  They created positive and loving affirmations about themselves to continue to see the goodness and beauty inside and create a practice to keep affirming those messages.

The greatest gift that the group experienced was that they learned to trust themselves and each other.  They felt safe enough to share from their hearts about their opportunities for learning and celebrating their successes.  The ah ha moments became more and more profound at each session.  I loved the last session when one lovely woman shared the activities she had done for the prior two weeks, and it was actually part of the material I was about to teach!  She had done some self reflection and was open and honest enough to go inside and take a look at her own heart.  She got it before she ever learned it!

It has been a blessing for me to share the wisdom of my heart.  Allowing others to share and expand their hearts with me has been my greatest gift of this teaching experience.  Living life from a more heart centered perspective can allow for more peace, compassion, joy, happiness and love in your life.