I am here to be seen.

Have you ever felt like you wanted to be invisible so no one can see you? Where it is easier to blend into the woodwork and hide?

“I am here to be seen.”  I could hear those words coming from my own mouth, but my voice cracked and got real small.

One of the first activities Robert Holden shared with me and 87 other coaches this past July at the University of Santa Monica Soul-Centered Coaching Lab, was to partner with someone and say these words.  And their response was, “I see you.” Each morning we spent about 5 minutes partnering with different people to speak both of these messages and show that we were present and open to be seen.

Robert guided us each of our 5 days through this activity to begin our day of learning with him.

“I am here to be seen” and “I see you.”

Here is 7 year old Chrissy 🙂

After realizing how “small” my voice became, I focused and shifted my energy to be strong, confident and present. I felt a powerful shift inside myself. And yet……

…….this small voice was not to be ignored.  Whose small voice was this?  Whose voice was struggling with being seen?

It was my little girl. It was little Chrissy.  She was hesitant about being seen. Her belief was that if you are seen, then people will make fun of you.

With the help of my coach and doing some self-inquiries, I discovered that my sweet 7 year old experienced a little trauma that shut  her down and created a fear about “being seen.”

I remember being in the 2nd grade and our teacher was introducing us to oral reports. I was so excited about this experience that I raised my hand and said I wanted to go first the next day.

Right away I knew that I wanted to do a report on a flower that intrigued me.  I went home with so much energy inside to find out facts about this flower so I could share in my report.

So the next day, I was loaded with enthusiasm and excitement.

I was first to share and then sat down with a huge smile on my face.  However, after I listened to each report by the other students, my excitement diminished.

Everyone else’s reports were better than mine.  Mine was boring in comparison.

Yes, I compared their reports to mine and it was no longer special and exciting. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my work.

chrissy 7 yrs

Sweet little Chrissy 🙂

In my 7 year old mind, I compared my work to others and it wasn’t good enough.

In my 7 year old mind, I created separation.

In my 7 year old mind, the other kids were better and smarter than me.

I experienced comparison and then separation.

The message I created in my 7 year old mind was, “Don’t raise your hand, you will embarrass yourself; Your work isn’t as good at the other kids; It’s better to not be seen than be embarrassed”

This stuck with me for a long time. I learned how to hide in the woodwork  and not be seen. That was easier and safe.

Isn’t it interesting to see how the perception of a small child can create a belief that stays with them through their adult life?

Can you relate to judging yourself as not being good enough and comparing yourself to others?

Fast forward to the present:

I’ve spent the past 6 years growing my coaching/consulting practice and “being seen” in front of many groups.  I still get squeamish and nervous when I get in front of a crowd.  And yes, my voice cracks sometimes.

I have been working on healing those little wounds and changing my beliefs around being seen.

I have done some inner work with little Chrissy to let her know that its ok to been seen.  There is nothing to fear or be embarrassed about.

I let her know that what she has to say and share with the world, matters.

I let her know that she is learning and sometimes that means failing and trying again.

I let her know that she is loved and she doesn’t have anything to fear.

I’m the adult and I will be seen for both of us.

She is part of me, and as I’m healing this part of me, I can own my power and my grace to be seen.

Sometimes it is the little traumas that we don’t realize are getting in our way.

When your little one gets in the way of your success, it is time to take a look at who is really showing up in your life.

Ask yourself this question…….Is it your adult, or your little one, who is blocking your success? 

Here I am posing on the big stage at the eWomenNetwork Conference!

Here I am posing on the big stage at the eWomenNetwork Conference!

Fast forward to today:

I am being guided to make a bigger presence and bigger impact to share my message to bigger groups. I met an amazing speaker coach at the eWomenNetwork International Conference in August who is helping me strengthen my skills as a professional speaker and messenger.

I am standing in MY truth and sharing with the world my message about living consciously and creating more peace, love and equanimity in our lives.

I am standing in MY truth and teaching practical tools to women and men, about how to eliminate their self imposed suffering with worry, anxiety, fear and anger.

I am standing in MY truth and doing my own inner work and be the change I want to see in the world.

I am standing in MY truth to learn, grow and evolve as a professional coach, trainer AND speaker to share my message  with the world.

Can you relate to my story either as a child or an adult? Where are you hiding in your life?

I am here to be seen. And I see you.

With much love and gratitude,

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How Joy-filled is Your Life?

When you look at the word ‘joy’, what sort of reaction does your body feel?  Is it pleasant or unpleasant?  Is it a believable experience for you in your life?   I seem to always be talking about self reflection and asking these questions that make you think!

The word ‘joy’ is defined in dictionary.com as, “The emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.” Now how does that make your feel?

The feeling of joy does not always cross our path in our everyday lives.  You may feel as though your life is joy-less. Perhaps it is.  However, you can make that change.  You can consciously bring joy into your life.   Sit down and just write down activities that bring you joy.   Close your eyes and visualize yourself doing it,  then go do it!

Walking in a garden.  Watching children play.  Holding hands with your loved ones.  Painting or some creative activity.  What truly brings you joy?  Honor your SELF by bringing a joy-filled activity to your life at least once a day. Treat yourself to the experience of “great delight or happiness caused by something good or satisfying!” And remember, when you are feeling  joy, your body is releasing endorphins, the ‘feel good’ hormones.  All good stuff for your health and well being!

See the adorable picture in this post?  This is a picture of my sweet Granddaughter Savannah….she just melts my heart and brings me joy!!!

The precious gift about joy is that when your go looking for it, it will show itself to you!  En-joy!!!

Are You Allowing Your Light to Shine?

We all have a beautiful light within us.  We are meant to shine our light in the brilliance of who we really are.  We begin our lives as sweet innocent babies that just emanate our light.  However, as we age our glow becomes dimmed by the “nos” and “shoulds” in our lives from our parents and society.  We bring this dimness to our adulthood and wonder why we feel empty and what our lives’ purpose is.

We are the only ones who have control of that light and how it shines.  I kept my light dim for a long time because it was safe to keep it dim.  By keeping my light dim, I did not stand out and I could easily “hide” and not be seen.  I did not have to compete with the large egos around me.  Staying small and keeping my light dim was safe.   Until the light within me knew better.  I knew I had it, but I had to have to courage to step out into my light.

As I took those baby steps (I’m a toe dipper, not a diver!) towards my light, I saw that I had nothing to be afraid of.  The more I stood in my authenticity and my light, I knew that this is where I wanted to live my life.  There was no going back.  I’m here to stay in the brilliance of my own light!  Marianne Williamson says it best from her book A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.…And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Take the time to look deep inside and listen to yourself.  Is your light waiting for you to let it free and shine with the brilliance of who you truly are?