Speaking the Unspoken

SPEAKING THE UNSPOKEN.
How many conversations do you have in your head that you want to say to someone, but don’t.

You don’t want to hurt their feelings.pc-head
You don’t want to explode on them.
You want to be nice.

So you shut down. You keep your unspoken words inside.

Then every time you see them again, the thoughts come up again. Then you shut them down again.

These thoughts, unspoken words, are also attached to some feelings inside of you. So when you suppress the words, you also suppress the feelings.

Without my awareness, I had a few of these unspoken conversations running in my head and heart. I didn’t realize what they were doing inside of me.

Last week they all came bubbling up when I least expected and I had a breakdown. I found myself in tears. My body reflected it and I felt flu symptoms. In this tearful mess, I could see that something desperately needed my attention.

With the support of my loving husband, my mentor and my sacred sisters, they held space for me to inquire why this was happening.

What I discovered was that I had shut down my voice. I had kept these unspoken conversations to certain people in my life, running in my head and had suppressed the feelings attached to them.

So I gave myself the space of a Sunday afternoon and wrote the unspoken words to each person that I wanted to say.

Some messages were short and to the point.journaling
Some brought tears of sadness.
One message brought out my ANGER and DISGUST. It was 5 pages long and filled with cuss words.

Wow, what a release! Was I holding all of this in? No wonder it began leaking out of me.

I could see that from this exercise of writing my unspoken words, it allowed me to see if I needed to take the next step. Some needed a personal conversation, some needed nothing as this writing was enough.

But one needed a hand written truth letter that spoke from the deepest part of me. My truth. My voice. My feelings.

Vulnerable and raw, I wrote 3 versions of the letter and drove it to the post office yesterday.

My heart was racing as I opened the mailbox. Boom….let it go! Its out there now.

They might be pissed off when they read it. They might rip it up and laugh. They might burn it. I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY DO WITH IT.

This was my release of my unspoken words. This was me knowing my truth inside of me and finally stepping in to my fear and having it heard.

My breakdown and then breakthrough did not happen to me.
It happened FOR me.
It was time to release and heal.
It was in service to what miracles are awaiting me!
I now have some newfound energy and light inside of me!

Do you have some unspoken conversations inside of you?
Give yourself some time and space and ask yourself if there is something you want to say to someone else, but haven’t.

What is your truth? What does your voice want to say?

As I have moved through the power of this experience, I can see how important it is for me to share this with you.

Are you ready for your FREEDOM inside?

I would love to hear your feedback in how this post can support you in finding peace and freedom from your suffering. And as always, if you need some support with this, I invite you to reach out to me.
Much love,

 

 

 

 

Your Way of Being

Are you like most of us and create a long “to-do” list every day?  Call this person, email that person, work on this project, etc. I know it helps me keep track of what needs to get done in my personal and professional life.

But what I’ve discovered to be more important than my “to-do” list is my “way of being” as I’m moving through the doing in life.

Before I dive into my list, I ask myself how am I being. positive-self-talk

Am I being kind to myself or am I judging myself?

Am I confident inside myself or do I have a critical voice running in my head?

Am I being patient with myself and others or am I being impatient and rushing?

Am I living in the present or am I focusing on the past or the future?

Am I being honest with myself or am I living the lie of an old story that keeps me small?

I have found that when I begin my day with being centered and focus on my way of being, how I am and how I intend to be, that strength inside is what drives me.

My centered way of being is also what I exude when I interact with others.

I challenge you to look at your “to-do” list right now (I know you have one!), get centered and ask yourself how you want “to-be” as you continue to move through your day. Ask yourself the questions I listed above.

I guarantee you that when you shift your energy and your way of being to be more kind, compassionate and loving with yourself, you show up with more inner peace and authentic power to navigate the rest of your “to-do” list.

Give it a try. I’d love to hear it works for you.

 

Much love,

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Your Power and Grace

When do you give up your power?

Do you stand up for your truth and your voice?

Do you allow grace into your life?

Are you even aware of the grace available to you?

Power Up 2016

“Power Up for 2016” Speaker line up

I know many women who unconsciously give up their power to others in their lives.  They have a small voice and life a small life.

I also know many women who live their lives on GO and run through life and totally miss the grace and blessing in their lives.

I had the opportunity to speak at the “Power Up for 2016” event sponsored by Good to Glam this past Tuesday and speak to about 100 women.  My topic was “Leading with Power and Grace: Your Secret Success Sauce”.

Every speaker had a powerful message to share with these women.

I spoke about some of the unconscious behaviors we have as women and how they hold us back.

Without realizing it, you might be holding yourself back and sabotaging your success by the following actions:
  1. Having negative conversations with yourself and creating a your reality from that space,
  2. Giving up or not recognizing the power you have inside you.
  3. Judging yourself….not good enough…not smart enough…not enough fill in the blank.
  4. Being a people pleaser and trying to make everyone else happy and you end up empty.
  5. Limiting yourself and your full potential, staying small and safe.

When you open your eyes to your life, your truth and your voice, then you can see the amazing potential you have inside you to to own your Power and and your Grace.

What is your secret sauce to success?

  1. Becoming aware of your Inner World.
  2. Awakening to Your Truth and Your Voice.
  3. Letting go of anything that is holding you back from you living your best life.
  4. Aligning your Inner World first for your outer world success.
  5. Embracing and living in your authentic POWER and GRACE.

You have the potential for so much in your life.  Let go of the smallness of your past and stand in the Glory of who you truly are!

Make today the day you put a stake in the ground to live your best life!
With much love and gratitude,

 signature.chris_smaller

 

What I Learned This Summer.

I have experienced so much learning this Summer between my personal and professional travels.  I believe it is all in service to what is next for me.

This is the group of remarkable women who joined my at my Flagstaff Retreat! Love them!

This is the group of remarkable women who joined my at my Flagstaff Retreat! Love them!!

I spent 3 days in Flagstaff at my retreat, “Awaken to the Whispers of Your Soul” with 4 inspiring women doing deep inner inquiry about their lives. What I learned from this experience:

Slowing down is the only way to hear the whispers of your Soul.

When you slow down, you can connect with your deep inner wisdom and divine guidance.  

The forest is deeply connected to our souls.  This is our loving center.

 

Having so much fun with my family! Great memories!!

Having so much fun playing bocce ball with my family in Flagstaff! Great memories and I love them!!

Then I spent another week up in Flagstaff, by myself for a few days and then my family joined me. What I learned from this experience:

Connecting with family creates loving memories.

 Despite how crazy or dysfunctional families can be, if you move into the loving, that is what you all connect with.

 It is about the loving.

Then I traveled to Santa Monica, California for a 5 1/2 day coaching lab at the University of Santa Monica (where I did my graduate studies and coaching certification) where I was totally enveloped  and enriched into the work of coach and author Robert Holden along with Drs. Ron and Mary Hulnick, Co-Directors of the school.  I also had the honor and privilege of learning alongside 87 other Soul-Centered Professional Coaches. What I learned from this experience:

The secret to happiness is…….that I already am!

USM Soul-Centered Professional Coaching lab with Robert Holden, Drs. Ron & Mary Hulnick. Priceless experience!!

USM Soul-Centered Professional Coaching lab with Robert Holden, Drs. Ron & Mary Hulnick. Priceless experience!! Love them!!

The secret to success is…..that I already am!

The secret to being love is…..that I am already loving (giving love) and lovable (receiving love)!  

(By the way, this is called the Already Principle!)

The more I learn and grow, my clients learn and grow. 

The more my clients learn and grow, I grow.

Life loves me.

Miracles arrive at the presence of love.

Be myself and that is enough.

I am the loving.

As I return from this magnificent month of learning, I return a different person.  I recognize that I get distracted with the notion of busyness and doing what I think I should do. I have been pushing and I am moving to a place of allowing.

I have already moved to a place of removing clutter in my life. The clutter of noise. The clutter of stuff.  The clutter of “shoulds”. The clutter of the electronic world.

As you can see, at the foundation of everything I learned….is the love and the loving.

I will close with a quote from Robert himself:

“Dedicate yourself to Love. Decide to let Love be your intention, your purpose, and your point. And then let Love inspire you, support you and guide you in every other dedication you make thereafter.”

With much love and gratitude,

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Loving Yourself. Is it in Your Blind Spot?

Wow, what a question. Have you taken an honest look at your life recently to see if loving yourself is in your blind spot?blind spot

What you don’t see are the obstacles in the way from you truly loving and honoring yourself in your life.  That’s why it’s in your blind spot.

You might think that going to the gym, getting your mani and pedi and shopping might be acts of self-love.  But those are just the surface levels of love. Those are external forms of self-love.

The obstacles that are in the way might be a belief that you are unlovable, that came from your childhood.  Another obstacle might be your critical self that always sees what’s wrong with you. Perhaps one of your parents treated you that way.  And now you treat yourself that way.

Only you can change the behavior or pattern that is blocking your deep authentic love for yourself.

Yesterday I was in conversation with a woman about her experience around self-love.  She recently went to an event that allowed her to see her resentments in her life.  Unbeknownst to her, those resentments were an obstacle in her life.

She had an opportunity to look at her life and release the obstacles.  She was amazed at this awareness and then how she felt so much love for herself!  She felt a powerful shift from surviving to thriving in her life.  And then she asked me:

“Do you think we naturally love ourselves?”

I believe that at our core we are love. I believe that as we come into the world as beautiful precious babies we know that love. As we grow older and experience life’s pains and trauma, that innocence is lost and we forget that love.

Then what happens is that we consciously or unconsciously choose unloving behaviors towards ourselves.

inner critic messagesWe speak to ourselves with critical statements. That is unloving.

We look externally for love. The next relationship. The next car. That is unloving.

We make choices to please other people, even though we know inside its not a self honoring choice. That is unloving.

We fill our lives and calendars with so many activities. We say YES to everything. Then we over extend ourselves to exhaustion. That is unloving.

So the key to loving yourself is to become consciously aware of your relationship you have with yourself. Slow down. Spend some time with yourself and reflect inside.

The more you unlearn the unloving behaviors, patterns and actions, then you can learn to create a more loving relationship with yourself, with behaviors that are self-honoring and self-loving.

The love is naturally there. The key is to move into that loving that is always there.

“Loving yourself…does not mean being self-absorbed or narcissistic, or disregarding others. Rather it means welcoming yourself as the most honored guest in your own heart, a guest worthy of respect, a lovable companion.” ~ Margo Anand

If you are ready to take a look at your life, call me.  You deserve to be the most honored guest in your own heart!

Much love,

chris-signature

Do You Have a Scarcity or Abundance Mindset?

What is your relationship with money? scarcity_abundance

Is it one of scarcity or abundance?

Do you find other area in your life…..scarce or not enough?

Scarcity and abundance can be real in your life, and it can be further manifested if it is your mindset.  Having one or the other of these mindset can set up how you live your life.  Either scarce or abundant.

Scarcity = the state of being scarce or in short supply; shortage; insufficiency.* 

Abundance = an extremely plentiful or over sufficient quantity or supply; overflowing fullness. *as stated in dictionary.com

I have discovered that this is a very common thread with MANY people and I have even struggled with it myself (I’m working on it now!)

Sometimes I have had a desire for something and I know that I don’t have the money for it.  I felt “poor” that I had to do without it. I couldn’t afford it.

Without even realizing it, this scarcity mindset was affecting other areas of my life.  I found myself sacrificing my desires and always thinking I couldn’t afford it. I even found myself buying “cheaper” versions of items instead of “quality” versions costing more.

Somehow this “lack” was consuming me.

Unconsciously this mindset was present in many aspects of my life.  I was seeing life through this lens of “not enough”.

And syncronistically one day I received a thank you note from a coach I had met and had coffee with a few times. In her note she thanked me for the “soul food” I gave her, and she enclosed a check for $100. I was so taken aback, I had to let it sit on my desk for a week.

What on earth is soul food….and why is she giving me $100?$100 bill

Do I take the $100?  Do I give it back and say “no thanks”.  Do I donate it to a charity?

After sitting with this experience for a week, I finally contacted her and thanked her and ask about the “soul food” I gave her that she is paying me for.

I could truly feel the sense of receiving was right in front of me waiting for my response.

I told her that I would accept this gift and receive, but please tell me more about “soul food”. She explained that she was tithing to me because I helped her nourish her soul with spiritual food.

I had heard of tithing, but only in a church setting.  This was new for me.

She said that she was living the Spiritual Laws of Prosperity and was enlightened by the book, “The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity: A Simple Guide to Unlimited Abunance” by Edwene Gaines.

In her book, Edwene says that “tithing is to return 10% of all we receive to a person, place or institution from which we have received spiritual food.” She further describes spiritual food as “that which inspires us, teaches us, reminds us of the Truth and causes us to remember who we really are.”

4 spiritual laws of prosperity

Once again, this was new for me AND I was very intrigued!

So I ordered this precious little book (lol…a used copy!) and dove in head first.  I was so struck by the simplicity of these laws. And I felt like I was already living four of them.  EXCEPT tithing.

Here are the Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity that Edwene outlines in her book:

Law #1 – Tithing and giving

Law #2 – Setting Very Clear Goals

Law #3 – Forgiveness and Worthiness

Law #4 – Finding Your Divine Purpose 

Currently in my life now, I am open to experimenting with living these Spiritual Laws of Prosperity.  I have been tithing for 3 weeks now and it sure feels strange.  In the past, I would have struggled with writing a check to an organization or a person. I used to (in the past!) hate to part with my money.

nourish-your-soulAs I am experimenting with tithing, I am finding it exciting to look into my world and ask, “what or who nourishes my soul?”.

 As I consciously shift my mindset from scarcity to abundance, my decisions come from an abundant mindset.

I have enough.  I am plentiful. I am worthy of good things.

I haven’t won the lottery yet, and I don’t believe that is what prosperity is. I have however had some amazing opportunities come my way recently.  I am open to trusting and allowing these laws to grace my life.

I am open to the full capacity of giving and receiving in my life. I am abundant.  I am prosperous.  I am love.

How is your mindset running your life?

 “…there is no such thing as a purely financial problem unrelated to false attitudes and emotions which caused it or a healthy attitude or emotion which can cure it.”

– Eric Butterworth, Spiritual Economics 

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 My retreat is only 3 weeks away!  

Awaken to the Whispers of Your Soul: A Woman’s Mountain Retreat September 12–14, 2014 in Flagstaff, Arizona

I have a few spots left!  For all the details and registration for the retreat CLICK HERE!!!

If you are ready say YES to yourself and your soul renewal, call me today!   

 

Much love and light,                                                                                                     

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PS – Ask me about my 1 Day Coaching Intensives at Miraval Resort!

    

You have all the answers…

How can I get off this hamster wheel of busyness in my life?HAMSTER-WHEEL

How do I leave this unhealthy relationship?

How do I find peace, calm and serenity in my life?

How can I trust my instincts, I’ve been wrong before?

These are all questions that my clients have shared with me, and some were looking to me for the answers.

As a professional life coach, I don’t have the answers for you.  However I help you find your answers inside yourself.

You see, you DO have all your answers inside yourself.

You do have all the heart, strength and intelligence inside of yourself to find those answers that will direct your life where you want to be.

Really, you say.  It sure doesn’t feel like that.

The problem is that your keen, loving intuition is covered with layers of ick that distort your decision making.  It’s like wearing a big heavy cloak.  It’s too heavy to navigate, so you just stay put.

Does that sound familiar?  You know the answers but this cloak holds you back. So you don’t make any decisions.  Then you get more of the same.

You know what that cloak is made of?

cloak-brown11

Negative messages to yourself.

Out dated beliefs that no longer serve you.

Misinterpretations of reality.

Anger, bitterness and resentments towards others.

Unforgiveness of judgments towards yourself and others.

Past traumas that are waiting for you to heal them.

Are you ready to shed your cloak and find the freedom and lightness of the life you truly deserve to live?

Are you ready to get off the hamster wheel?

Are you ready to say YES to a healthy relationship with yourself?

Are you ready to allow peace, calm and serenity into your life?

Are you ready to trust your heart and your inner wisdom?  

Say YES to yourself……and trust your inner wisdom!

I partner with you to hold your greatest vision for yourself to live an extraordinary life. I partner with you to shed your cloak and find the freedom you deserve! 


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Come join me at my Women’s Mountain Retreat in Flagstaff in September!      

Awaken to the Whispers of Your Soul: A Woman’s Mountain Retreat September 12–14, 2014 in Flagstaff, Arizona

For all the details and registration for the retreat  CLICK HERE!!! Just as a reminder, space is limited!  Only 5 spots left!! If you believe this this retreat is right for you, call me today!
 
Much love and light,
chris-signature
PS – Ask me about my 1 Day Coaching Intensives at Miraval Resort!

 

I Was Afraid to Listen to the Whispers of My Soul

life balance womanTen years ago, I was a prisoner of a busy unconscious life of only “doing”. 

I didn’t know how to slow down and just “be”.  I also struggled with connecting with my emotional and spiritual self.

I was afraid to listen to the whispers of my soul.

My life was far too busy to listen. I was Super Mom, doing everything for my family. I thought that the more I gave to everyone, then I would be happy.

Yet something was missing.

When I did slow down, what I saw scared the hell out of me. My soul showed me the truth, and I didn’t want to see it. So I stayed busy. At that point I was addicted to busyness. It was my medicator to not see the truth. I was running on empty and putting on my “happy mask” every day.

Deep inside, I was in pain.

And then those whispers got louder. The truth was more evident. And yet I chose not to look at it. If I looked at the truth and did something about it, I would disappoint so many people. I was the good wife, mother, sister, friend….how on earth could I disappoint others? The whispers of my soul became so loud….they became a 2X4 across the head. That 2X4 was my wake up call.

It was time to wake up.IMG_3385

As I slowed my life down and began to honor myself, I could see that the whispers were from that deep loving and wise part of me that knew the truth. That part of me always knows what is in my highest good. The more I awakened to the messages from my soul and consciously chose to be loyal to my soul, my life transformed.

My transformation was one small step at a time. Each awareness built on the next. I began to see my deepest truth. I began to see what I wanted in my life, and what I DIDN’T want. I began to see my life’s purpose. I began to make choices that honored my heart and soul. I consciously choose every day to connect with this deep loving part of who I am.

My soul is my lifeforce.

“Put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard.”

― Anne Sexton

Today, I am blessed beyond measure to have a deep, grace-filled and powerful connection to my Soul!

Are you ready to listen to the whispers of your Soul?

Come join me and a group of like-minded women in my mountain home, in the cool pines of Flagstaff Arizona, September 12, 13 & 14 for an all-inclusive weekend to unplug from your busy life of “doing” and slow way down.

 

Awaken to the Whispers of Your Soul: A Woman’s Mountain Retreat September 12–14, 2014 in Flagstaff, Arizona

Some of our activities will include serene meditation walks in the Ponderosa Pine forest right behind my home.  You will be entering a sacred container of peace, tranquility and space to connect with your deep inner wisdom with 8 other magnificent women.

As you slow down, you will hear the whispers of your soul.

For all the details and registration for the retreat, check out my website here:

http://heartfeltworkforce.com/awaken-to-the-whispers-of-your-soul/

Just as a reminder, space is limited for this transformational event with only 8 spots open. Get in on the SUPER EARLY BIRD PRICING BEFORE JULY 19!!!

If you believe this this retreat is right for you, call me today!

 
Much love and light,
  

Your Comfort Zone. Are You Ready to Move Beyond?

Who in their right mind would want to be uncomfortable?  Isn’t comfort where you want to be all the time?  Knowing exactly what will happen in your life, doing the same thing, day in and day out…..now that’s comforting.  But is it really?

Being safe and comfortable can be important to your happiness, but when you live in your comfort zone ALL the time, you really don’t grow and have new experiences.

Do you do the SAME workout every week and are wondering why you are not getting any results?  Do you have the SAME arguments with your partner and nothing changes?  Do you question yourself if you are in the right job because you do the SAME thing every day and you don’t excited about the work you do?

It’s time to step out of your comfort zone if you want different results!

Most times, it is fear of the unknown that can hold you back. You know you might want something different, but you are afraid of what can happen if you change. What would happen if you stepped out of your comfort zone?  What would happen if you moved into something that is uncomfortable? What would it look like if you trusted and surrendered that you would be ok?

When you take action and move into the steps to where you want to be, it WILL be uncomfortable.  Trust and surrender.  This is the place where you grow and transform.

Ready to step out of my comfort zone in my GoLoco Jersey!

Recently I came into an awareness about myself with my comfort zone and my cycling workouts.  I was really wishy washy with my workouts.  I didn’t like going anywhere other than my regular route.  I did NOT like it when my husband took a different route. I WAS UNCOMFORTABLE!

In my own self reflection of my commitments to myself, this was standing out to me as a place where I wanted different results and it was time for me to step into my fear and my uncomfortableness.

I made a commitment to myself to step into my fear.  This past weekend, instead of my usual easy 20 mile ride on the same route, I made a commitment to a different route that I had not been on before, and to complete a 40 mile route around my community.  As I stepped into my fear, I remembered my commitment to MYSELF and the changes I wanted. I surrendered to the unknown.

I rode the entire route with this message in my head (and my heart) and YES, I WAS UNCOMFORTABLE.  And I completed the 40 miles and found a new route with a different view of the city! 

It may have been uncomfortable at first, and I know the more I take this new route with my commitment to myself, that it will become more comfortable each time.  And when it becomes too comfortable, it will be time for a new route, with a new goal.

This experience reminds me of a quote I read last week from my beloved mentor and professor at the University of Santa Monica:

“The most comfortable place you could ever live is outside of your comfort zone, because it is the only place where you are going to find growth. It is the only place you are going to rise up and continue to lift into higher states of consciousness and move more and more into trust, into surrender.”  – Ron Hulnick

What is your experience with stepping into the uncomfortable in your life?  How did it feel?  I’d love to hear from you and how your experience was…or is!   Share your comments below!

Much love + light,

 

Freedom From Your Upset in 8 Powerful Steps

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ~Carl Jung

Honestly, what really triggers and upsets you?  I know by asking this question, something must come to mind. Perhaps even these questions trigger you. Am I right?

Is it certain people’s behavior? Is it is your family? Is it what you watch on TV? Is it your husband or wife or your kids?

Chances are, there is something that triggers an upset inside of you and when it happens you can feel how it affects you, physically and emotionally.  

I know from my own experiences in the past, I was triggered when someone was overbearing or overpowering.  Sometime it was in my workplace and sometimes in my family.  I knew I didn’t like it and my response was to shut down.  It made me feel small and insignificant.  I felt like I didn’t have a voice.  Have you ever felt that way?

Well thankfully I have learned some very powerful life skills to help me understand more about what causes the upset inside of me and how I can alleviate my own suffering.

Here are the powerful steps that helped me move through the issue resolution process:

1.      Acknowledge the upset inside.

2.      Accept your feelings inside and feel them.  Mad, sad, angry, pissed off….you name it. Don’t shove it down and don’t project it on anyone else.

3.      Take 100% responsibility for your upset…regardless of what or who you think caused it. 

4.      Allow yourself to rise above the situation.  Look at the situation as an observer without getting caught in the emotion of it.

5.      Look at the judgments you may have placed on another person or yourself.

6.      Forgive the judgments you imposed on others or yourself.

7.      Give yourself some inner love and compassion to the parts inside you that are hurt or need healing.

8.      See the unbiased truth in the situation.  Let it go.

As you diffuse the energy around the upset, your pain and suffering will diminish.  If the trigger comes around again, you might need to move through this process again until there is no more charge around the upset, or even seek professional guidance.

Remember you have the choice in how you react to a situation.  The choice is yours.  Choose well.  Choose your freedom.

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space.  In that space is our power to choose our response.  In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”   ~ Viktor E. Frankl

What are your triggers?  How have you dealt with your upsets and triggers in your life?  Did you learn any lessons about yourself?  I’d love to hear your answers in the comment section below!

Much love and light,