Your Energy. Are you Grounded or Scattered?

Ever feel like your energy is scattered in too many directions?  Ever feel like you have your energy in so many places that you are not effective at ANYTHING?

You are not alone in feeling this way.  Welcome to my world this past week! 

I spent most of the month of July focusing my energy on renewal and healing.  After an amazing visit to Miraval Resort, and then a week at the University of Santa Monica, assisting with one of their programs in Spiritual Psychology,  I felt renewed, recharged and ready to focus my energy on my expansion of my fall workshops.

Enter a family crisis.  Whoa, the whole centered piece went out the window!  I could tell each and every time I was giving away more and more of my energy.

I felt very ungrounded and scattered.

I lost track of time during the day.  I found myself looking at my laptop for long stretches and not getting anything done. I was at the beck and call of others who needed me.

If that wasn’t enough signs of  being scattered, I had a few minor mishaps.  On Tuesday I dropped a metal bar on my foot, causing much swelling and bruising.  On Saturday, I didn’t unclip at a stop on a bike ride and fell off my bike and landed into the post of a street sign, severely bruising my bicep muscle. Ouch!  Oh the signs were all there that I was NOT GROUNDED.  And I have the bruises to show for it!

Time for me to regroup and refocus my energy back to ME. 

Grounding can bring conscious awareness to your self and your body.   It can provide you with the strong anchor to center you again if you are ungrounded.

I quickly followed the steps that I suggest to my clients to regain their center.  Here are the steps I followed and are really very easy:

1.   Slow down. Find quiet meditative time and go inside and still your mind.

2.  Visualize yourself connecting to Mother Earth.

3.  Go barefoot and feel the ground, dirt and/or grass.

4.  Drink lots of water.

5.  Listen to your heart about where your energy should be focused.

6.  Say NO to things that don’t serve you or your well being.

7.  Let go of any negative energy and/or upsets with a quiet Free Form Writing session.

8.  Acknowledge your boundaries and honor them at all times.

Regaining your focus on YOU will bring you back to your center.  When you are feeling a bit out of sorts, for whatever reason, use these steps to assist you.  Life happens to all of us and it’s good to know that a few simple steps can help you shift to bring calmness and balance back into your life.

I’m sure you’ve had a time where you were scattered and felt the need to be grounded.   I’d love to hear from you and what works for you when you feel this way!

If you like this article, I’d love for you to share it and like it on FB and Twitter, so that it can help someone you love find that calmness and balance for themselves!

Much love and light,

 

5 Easy Peasy Steps to Stop Your Stinking Thinking: For Good!

Do you every find yourself weighted down with the doomsday, “What ifs?”  Do your negative thoughts escalate and you find yourself in a space that is totally awful and really….stinking? Does it stop you dead in your tracks of any positive movement in your life?  It has been a reality for me (in the past) and I would find myself overwhelmed and then my brain would run in upset overdrive!

Not a good feeling.

I have great news for you if you’ve had this happen to you. You can change your thoughts….and change your life!  Dr. Wayne Dyer said it best.  You have the power to recognize what your brain is doing to you, stop and shift your thoughts from self defeating to become self empowering.

It is your choice and really pretty easy once you are conscious of your attitude, actions and behaviors to make the shift.  Here are the easy steps you can follow to guide you to find freedom from the suffering of stinking thinking:

1.  Recognize that your mind is in the negative mode.

Stop and acknowledge where you are in the present moment in your mind, body and heart.  Feel what the negative pattern is doing to you and where it can take you.

2.  Relax and take some cleansing breaths.

Close your eyes and just breathe.  Allow yourself to take some deep cleansing breaths.  Visualize the negative thought pattern leaving you when you exhale.

3.  Let go of the negative thought and release it from your consciousness.

Then breathe in the LIGHT when you inhale.  Cleanse your consciousness with the light.  Allow yourself to release the thought patterns with the power of your breath.

4.  Create a loving and supportive thought and message to yourself.

Take the negative thought and shift it 180 degrees the other way.  If the thought is, “Those idiots in traffic piss me off! They are so stupid!”  Change your thought to, “I don’t know what is happening in the life of those motorists, and I won’t give up my energy to them.  I will release them from thoughts and support myself with positive loving thoughts.  I will drive in traffic with grace and ease”

5.  Keep repeating the new loving, supportive thought as often as needed.

Whatever your new thought shift message is, keep repeating it to yourself.  As you keep saying it (even if you don’t believe it at first!) it gains more power and energy in your consciousness.  Your old thought pattern will dissolve itself…..for GOOD!

HERE IS THEY KEY TO YOUR SUCCESS….. You have to WANT to change your stinking thinking…for your benefit.  Not for your spouse, boss, parents or anyone for that matter.  YOU have to WANT the change in your life.

Use these steps the next time you feel the negative nudging coming on.  The more you practice these steps and WANT the change; you will see and feel a world of difference the level of peace in happiness in your life.

I’d love to hear from you about what helps you when you aren’t feeling so positive.  List them in the comments below to share.  If you felt that these steps are valuable, please share them with your community on any of the buttons below! Thanks!

Much love + light,

When Lessons Present Themselves: Shifting from Upset to Equanimity

Yesterday was a day for lessons to be learned.  I wouldn’t have guessed it when I began the day, but by the end of the evening, I could see that I was being tested.  And by this morning I could see that the universe was truly speaking to me loud and clear!  I acknowledged my upset, was able to process it, and then find a place of equanimity in each situation I was presented with.

Here are the scenarios.  Midday I had to return to my former employer to drop off some important paperwork.  Was I fearful to go to this location after 2 years and painful memories? YES!  Did I want someone else to do this for me? YES!  Did I have the courage to do it anyways? YES!  Was I ok afterwards? YES!

LESSON:  Embrace my power and do what might be uncomfortable. Don’t ask anyone to do what I can do myself.

Evening time, after spending five hours preparing for out of town relatives to come over for a lovely dinner.  The table was set with my fine china and my crystal glasses.  Even Martha Stewart would have been impressed with my table decor!  During dinner, someone drops and breaks one of the dinner plates!  Ouch!  It’s OK, it is replaceable and everyone was OK.  Not even 20 minutes later, one of the crystal glasses is knocked over and shatters!  Ouch! It’s OK, its replaceable and it made the plate crasher not feel so bad.   Was I upset because my plate and glass were broken by other people? YES, but for just a second. The truth is that they are replaceable.

LESSON:  Possessions are just stuff and can be replaced.  I looked around at the loving family who we were sharing a meal with and saw that they were more important than any stuff!

And the last lesson for this whirlwind of 24 hours.  I go outside to our beautiful picturesque backyard that my husband and I spent hours trimming and planting to prepare for the dinner. Our beautiful fig vine that has enveloped the entire north side of the house was dead where it had grown on our patio ceiling.  My husband had accidently clipped a main artery to this beautiful piece of nature art.  Oh no, not the vine!  Was I upset, YES, and only for a second.  I quickly shifted to the realization that it is just a plant and, like a bad haircut,  it will grow back maybe even more beautiful.

LESSON:  In our efforts to rid of overgrowth and debris, we let go of something we hadn’t intended to.  We let it go of it anyways and will focus on the future growth.  

How did I shift from upset to equanimity in each situation?

1.  I acknowledged my feelings of upset.  It is a normal human reaction.  

2.  I rose above the situation and saw it with out any ego attachment that would make someone wrong.

3.  I saw the facts and truth in the situation.

4.  I looked towards my future actions that I would need to do.

5.  In my heart, I forgave myself for any judgments I may have had towards others or myself.

6.  I let it go.

7.  I looked for the lesson in each situation and kept that in my heart.

Three different times in a 24 hour period my emotions were triggered.  First with fear, then with upset (x 2).  Each time, I acknowledged my feelings, processed them in a healthy way and looked for the lesson in each situation.  Equanimity is finding that place of emotional balance that helps me keep the peace inside of me.  I find that with each lesson I can find that place of equanimity quicker each time, despite what challenges my every day life offers me.

Next time you find yourself in and an emotional state, try following the steps listed above and you too will find that peace inside of you.

 

Extreme Self Care: 10 Steps to an Exceptional YOU!

Are you wishy washy about the things you want to change in your life?  Do you just talk about “some day” you want to take care of yourself better?  Are you so busy that you are at the bottom of your “to do” list?  Do you not think you are “worthy” of the time and effort to spend taking care of all parts of your SELF?

If you answered Yes to any of these questions, and you are ready to make some serious changes in your life…..read on!   Remember that YOU are what you take to every relationship in your life. YOU are at the center of your life. YOU are the most important person in your life. You have been given the special gift of life….and your opportunity is to make it the best you can. When you start by taking your care seriously, everything else lines up to support you.  And in referencing “taking care of  you”, I am talking about all dimensions of your SELF.  Perhaps some levels you have never given any attention to.

Extreme Self Care is….

1..…caring for all dimensions of you: Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual.

2……about taking a truthful and honest look at your current life.

3……about not beating yourself up by what you see.

4……accepting yourself exactly where you are.

5……about committing to small steps to nurture yourself EACH AND EVERY DAY.

6……about acknowledging yourself for each self nurturing action you take.

7……making you the most important project in your life.

8……continuing to make honorable and loving choices in your life that support YOU.

9……continuing to enhance your well being and live the balanced life of your dreams.

10….making these changes part of your new joy filled, healthy and balanced SELF.

Commit to YOU.  These are changes that only you can make.  Have the courage to step into your fear of change.  Embrace all your beauty and divinity and make YOU the best you can be.

EXTREME SELF CARE + LOVE =  EXCEPTIONAL YOU

Messages My Parents Didn’t Tell Me…….Creating a Belief From Watching Them

Your parents and authority figures had a powerful impact on your life and how your “Life Laws” were created.  Their impact didn’t even have to be words.  Your belief system and values may have been created by just watching your parent’s behavior… good or bad.

I had the privilege of facilitating a workshop this weekend about eliminating old messages and beliefs that can hold you back from living the life of your dreams. I was able to witness some deep reflection, awareness and healing among the participants. Each of them shared about an old message, some that were outdated and some that were so deeply ingrained in their psyche, they didn’t know if they could change it.

But the most powerful moment was when one of the participants shared how blessed her life has been because the message her mother told her, out loud and with her actions, was that she could be anything she wanted in her life.  She had a positive affirming mother, despite the challenges they went through in life.  Her mother told her good things about herself and demonstrated positive actions in her own life.   To see how successful this woman is today made sense.  She knew as a young child that she was loved, worthy and capable of anything she wanted in life.

Not everyone grew up that way, but you have the power to change those old messages or beliefs to be more affirming, loving and supportive in your life.  Simple messages like:

“I am worthy”

“I am lovable”

“I am beautiful inside and out”

“I deserve good things in my life”

“I live in gratitude and abundance”

“I deserve happiness in my life”

“I am enough”

You can take an old message, transmute it to a positive one and then create a lovely affirmation that supports your growth and upliftment.  Loving yourself with positive messages is food for your heart and soul.

What are your messages or beliefs?  What do you tell yourself?  Is it positive or negative?  Are you open and willing to change these messages if they no longer serve you?  Only you can give yourself the gift of self love, self worth and self honor.  Give yourself that gift today!

 

How Do You SEE the World – Through Positive or Negative Glasses?

“The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.”  ~ Marcus Antonius AD 86-161

Do you ever find yourself thinking negative thought patterns and become overwhelmed with the negative “what if”?  Are you the type of person who always sees what is wrong with a situation….instead of what is right?

I have recently experienced a few individuals who see the world with such a perspective.  What I believe is that they are very unconscious of their behavior and it has just become part of how they live their lives.  And then they wonder why they have sickness and illness.  And then they wonder why their friends and family avoid spending time with them.  They wonder why this world is so bad and awful. You may not experience these feeling yourself, but you might know someone just like that.

Our thoughts are very powerful and can take us spiraling down….or up.  You have the choice in any moment of how you think, which translates to how your feel, then how you act.  You can shift your thoughts in any moment.  You can look for the good in any circumstance. You have the power to live your life from a positive perspective.  Here are just a few suggestions to help you, or someone in your life, make the shift:

1.  Live in the present moment.  When you dwell on the negativity of the past or future, you miss out on the beauty of your life right in front of you.

2.  Consciously look for what is good in any situation.  I promise you, if you look for the good, you will find it.  Even if it a lesson to be learned.

3.  Have gratitude for the good and say it out loud.  When you look for the good and show gratitude for it, and then acknowledge it out loud, you move to a positive place within your consciousness.

4.  Eliminate negativity from your life.  If the news upsets you, take a break from it.  If you have a negative person in your life, limit your time with them.  Look to see what brings negativity in your life and eliminate it.

5.  Bring more positive energy into your life.  What ever brings you joy and happiness, consciously do more of it.  Fill your life with the things that fuel your energy and you will find an automatic shift in your way of thinking.

6.  If you catch yourself moving into negativity, shift to the positive quickly.  The more you experience positivity in your life, you will know when something shifts back negatively.  As soon as you notice, move into utilizing these steps to bring you back to a positive place.

This life we live is meant to be joy filled, not joy-less.  By consciously shifting your thoughts, actions and behaviors to be more positive, you will find that joy that you so deserve.  We all deserve it!

Dealing with Change… When it’s time to Surrender & Trust

Funny how life brings us change.  Sometimes we are prepared for it and sometimes we are not. When we are not prepared for it, we can feel the pain in the change.  However we can flow with the change and feel different as we move through it.

I have watched a few friends of mine recently deal with losing their homes or businesses due to the challenging economy.  They saw the change early on and tried many different avenues to keep what they have worked hard to build up for so many years.  They grieved the change during the process.  So when it was time to let go…..to surrender….to trust….they moved through the process with much more grace.  No kicking, screaming and blaming.  Sad feelings…yes…grief for the change…yes…but with the trust that they would be ok.

In your life, when do you know its time to surrender and not fight the change?  How can you trust that all will be well when it does not feel like it?  Here are a few tips to help you through times of change and uncertainty:

1. Be open to the change.  Stop trying to control the outcome.  Let go and allow the change.  The change may be needed and it is difficult for you to see that while you are in the midst of it.

2. Allow yourself to feel your feelings, grieve the change.  Feel the sadness, cry if it comes up.  When you let feelings out, you don’t need to repress them and hold them in your physical body.  Go through all stages of grief…its important for your future well being.

3. Accept the situation and yourself exactly where you are. Be in the present moment with your life.  Accept what is and move forward.  Don’t beat yourself up!

4. Surrender to your higher power. Challenging as this may seem, it is a key aspect in dealing with change to trust your higher power, however you define that.  God, Source, the Universe…what ever fits for you.

5. Visualize yourself after you have moved through the change. Picture yourself in your mind how you want to be after the change.  It will give you a goal to achieve of how you want your life to be.

6. Trust that all will be well. This is an activity of the heart and soul.  As you surrender to your higher power, know that there are sources taking care of you in your spiritual realm.

7. Consciously create positive thoughts, beliefs and actions about the change. Shift your cognitive processes to the positive and you will feel the difference.  When you feel the negativity creeping in, quickly change it and keep the positivity up!

8. Move with the ebb and flow of change with grace and ease. When you utilize these skills with any type of change, you move with the change like a wave.  You eliminate any struggle and find yourself in a more proactive, less reactive place in your life.

Learning to deal with change is a key tool in your own personal growth and evolvement. Understanding change and how to move through it can only improve the quality of your life.  We live in ever changing times now and these skills can assist you in your personal and professional life.  Remember them, practice them, and you can feel more peace and happiness as you embrace change!

Your Resolutions….the Secrets to Keeping Them

Are you excited about the newness of 2012?  Have you already made some resolutions and began practicing them? Does it feel good?  Do you want to keep that good feeling and make those changes permanent and not just a memory when March rolls around?

Here are a few of my secrets for creating goals/intentions to change behaviors that can move you in the direction of the goals you want to achieve.  The New Year is a good time to begin, but you can create change any day of the year.

1.  Be realistic with your intentions/goals.  If you want to loose 20 pounds, you need a plan to assist you.  Maybe your goal is manage your food intake and increase your exercise.  Track your food and track your exercise.  The weight will come off based upon your body age, shape and size.

2. Take small steps with your goals/intentions. Break up the big goal into manageable pieces so that the task at hand is not too daunting.  Say you want to learn to paint.  Break up the goals into steps….I will research painting techniques online….I will research painting classes in my area….I will enroll in a class…..I will purchase my materials….

3. Write down your goals/intentions. Just the kinesthetic act of writing this information down activates it into your consciousness and makes it more real instead of just thinking about it.  You also send a message to the Universe about what your desire and commitment is.

4. Acknowledge yourself when you achieve your successes, even the small ones. It is very powerful to have positive thoughts about yourself and the actions you take to achieve your successes.  Saying kind and loving things to yourself activates the positive energy within your mind and body….creating wellness within You.

5. Let go of what is no longer serving you. If something is not bringing value to yourself, whether it is thoughts, feelings, relationships, habits…let them go and release them so that they don’t drain your positive energy.  Write on a piece of paper any negative thoughts or feelings you have inside of you and burn the paper.  Release it from your Self.  Once again, the kinesthetic act of writing releases the negative energy from your body.  Don’t read it after you write it…just crumple it and safely burn it!

6. Have a support network. Whether it is a coach, counselor, friend, loved one…someone you can share you intentions/goals with who will support and love you along the way.  The more people in your support network, the more people you can turn to when you need assistance.

7. Watch as your positive steps become good habits. The more you change your thoughts, behaviors and actions, the more likely they just become part of your everyday life.  Embrace the change in you and your life!!

The New Year is upon us and a wonderful time for Self reflection and change.  You have the power to manifest anything you want in your life.  Be kind to yourself and remember that all change happens only one day at a time, one moment at a time. You are the greatest gift you can give yourself so begin today, right now.  Embrace this moment and celebrate YOU!!

 

12 Things Happy People do Differently

I came across this article and fell in love with everything I saw.  I had to share it with you in my blog!  Enjoy!!
12 Things Happy People do Differently

by Jacob Sokol of Sensophy

“I’d always believed that a life of quality, enjoyment, and wisdom were my human birthright and would be automatically bestowed upon me as time passed.  I never suspected that I would have to learn how to live – that there were specific disciplines and ways of seeing the world I had to master before I could awaken to a simple, happy, uncomplicated life.”   -Dan Millman

Studies conducted by positivity psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky point to 12 things happy people do differently to increase their levels of happiness.  These are things that we can start doing today to feel the effects of more happiness in our lives.  (Check out her book, The How of Happiness.)

I want to honor and discuss each of these 12 points, because no matter what part of life’s path we’re currently traveling on, these ‘happiness habits’ will always be applicable.

  1. Express gratitude. – When you appreciate what you have, what you have appreciates in value.  Kinda cool right?  So basically, being grateful for the goodness that is already evident in your life will bring you a deeper sense of happiness.  And that’s without having to go out and buy anything.  It makes sense.  We’re gonna have a hard time ever being happy if we aren’t thankful for what we already have.
  2. Cultivate optimism. – Winners have the ability to manufacture their own optimism.  No matter what the situation, the successful diva is the chick who will always find a way to put an optimistic spin on it.  She knows failure only as an opportunity to grow and learn a new lesson from life.  People who think optimistically see the world as a place packed with endless opportunities, especially in trying times.
  3. Avoid over-thinking and social comparison. – Comparing yourself to someone else can be poisonous.  If we’re somehow ‘better’ than the person that we’re comparing ourselves to, it gives us an unhealthy sense of superiority.  Our ego inflates – KABOOM – our inner Kanye West comes out!  If we’re ‘worse’ than the person that we’re comparing ourselves to, we usually discredit the hard work that we’ve done and dismiss all the progress that we’ve made.  What I’ve found is that the majority of the time this type of social comparison doesn’t stem from a healthy place.  If you feel called to compare yourself to something, compare yourself to an earlier version of yourself.
  4. Practice acts of kindness. – Performing an act of kindness releases serotonin in your brain.  (Serotonin is a substance that has TREMENDOUS health benefits, including making us feel more blissful.)  Selflessly helping someone is a super powerful way to feel good inside.  What’s even cooler about this kindness kick is that not only will you feel better, but so will people watching the act of kindness.  How extraordinary is that?  Bystanders will be blessed with a release of serotonin just by watching what’s going on.  A side note is that the job of most anti-depressants is to release more serotonin.  Move over Pfizer, kindness is kicking ass and taking names.
  5. Nurture social relationships. – The happiest people on the planet are the ones who have deep, meaningful relationships.  Did you know studies show that people’s mortality rates are DOUBLED when they’re lonely?  WHOA!  There’s a warm fuzzy feeling that comes from having an active circle of good friends who you can share your experiences with.  We feel connected and a part of something more meaningful than our lonesome existence.
  6. Develop strategies for coping. – How you respond to the ‘craptastic’ moments is what shapes your character.  Sometimes crap happens – it’s inevitable.  Forrest Gump knows the deal.  It can be hard to come up with creative solutions in the moment when manure is making its way up toward the fan.  It helps to have healthy strategies for coping pre-rehearsed, on-call, and in your arsenal at your disposal.
  7. Learn to forgive. – Harboring feelings of hatred is horrible for your well-being.  You see, your mind doesn’t know the difference between past and present emotion.  When you ‘hate’ someone, and you’re continuously thinking about it, those negative emotions are eating away at your immune system.  You put yourself in a state of suckerism (technical term) and it stays with you throughout your day.
  8. Increase flow experiences. – Flow is a state in which it feels like time stands still.  It’s when you’re so focused on what you’re doing that you become one with the task.  Action and awareness are merged.  You’re not hungry, sleepy, or emotional.  You’re just completely engaged in the activity that you’re doing.  Nothing is distracting you or competing for your focus.
  9. Savor life’s joys. – Deep happiness cannot exist without slowing down to enjoy the joy.  It’s easy in a world of wild stimuli and omnipresent movement to forget to embrace life’s enjoyable experiences.  When we neglect to appreciate, we rob the moment of its magic.  It’s the simple things in life that can be the most rewarding if we remember to fully experience them.
  10. Commit to your goals. – Being wholeheartedly dedicated to doing something comes fully-equipped with an ineffable force.  Magical things start happening when we commit ourselves to doing whatever it takes to get somewhere.  When you’re fully committed to doing something, you have no choice but to do that thing.  Counter-intuitively, having no option – where you can’t change your mind – subconsciously makes humans happier because they know part of their purpose.
  11. Practice spirituality. – When we practice spirituality or religion, we recognize that life is bigger than us.  We surrender the silly idea that we are the mightiest thing ever.  It enables us to connect to the source of all creation and embrace a connectedness with everything that exists.  Some of the most accomplished people I know feel that they’re here doing work they’re “called to do.”
  12. Take care of your body. – Taking care of your body is crucial to being the happiest person you can be.  If you don’t have your physical energy in good shape, then your mental energy (your focus), your emotional energy (your feelings), and your spiritual energy (your purpose) will all be negatively affected.  Did you know that studies conducted on people who were clinically depressed showed that consistent exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft?  Not only that, but here’s the double whammy… Six months later, the people who participated in exercise were less likely to relapse because they had a higher sense of self-accomplishment and self-worth.

Jacob Sokol is committed to living an extraordinary life.  Today he released “Living on Purpose – An Uncommon Guide to Finding, Living, and Rocking Your Life’s Purpose.”  He also loves his mom dearly.