I am here to be seen.

Have you ever felt like you wanted to be invisible so no one can see you? Where it is easier to blend into the woodwork and hide?

“I am here to be seen.”  I could hear those words coming from my own mouth, but my voice cracked and got real small.

One of the first activities Robert Holden shared with me and 87 other coaches this past July at the University of Santa Monica Soul-Centered Coaching Lab, was to partner with someone and say these words.  And their response was, “I see you.” Each morning we spent about 5 minutes partnering with different people to speak both of these messages and show that we were present and open to be seen.

Robert guided us each of our 5 days through this activity to begin our day of learning with him.

“I am here to be seen” and “I see you.”

Here is 7 year old Chrissy 🙂

After realizing how “small” my voice became, I focused and shifted my energy to be strong, confident and present. I felt a powerful shift inside myself. And yet……

…….this small voice was not to be ignored.  Whose small voice was this?  Whose voice was struggling with being seen?

It was my little girl. It was little Chrissy.  She was hesitant about being seen. Her belief was that if you are seen, then people will make fun of you.

With the help of my coach and doing some self-inquiries, I discovered that my sweet 7 year old experienced a little trauma that shut  her down and created a fear about “being seen.”

I remember being in the 2nd grade and our teacher was introducing us to oral reports. I was so excited about this experience that I raised my hand and said I wanted to go first the next day.

Right away I knew that I wanted to do a report on a flower that intrigued me.  I went home with so much energy inside to find out facts about this flower so I could share in my report.

So the next day, I was loaded with enthusiasm and excitement.

I was first to share and then sat down with a huge smile on my face.  However, after I listened to each report by the other students, my excitement diminished.

Everyone else’s reports were better than mine.  Mine was boring in comparison.

Yes, I compared their reports to mine and it was no longer special and exciting. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my work.

chrissy 7 yrs

Sweet little Chrissy 🙂

In my 7 year old mind, I compared my work to others and it wasn’t good enough.

In my 7 year old mind, I created separation.

In my 7 year old mind, the other kids were better and smarter than me.

I experienced comparison and then separation.

The message I created in my 7 year old mind was, “Don’t raise your hand, you will embarrass yourself; Your work isn’t as good at the other kids; It’s better to not be seen than be embarrassed”

This stuck with me for a long time. I learned how to hide in the woodwork  and not be seen. That was easier and safe.

Isn’t it interesting to see how the perception of a small child can create a belief that stays with them through their adult life?

Can you relate to judging yourself as not being good enough and comparing yourself to others?

Fast forward to the present:

I’ve spent the past 6 years growing my coaching/consulting practice and “being seen” in front of many groups.  I still get squeamish and nervous when I get in front of a crowd.  And yes, my voice cracks sometimes.

I have been working on healing those little wounds and changing my beliefs around being seen.

I have done some inner work with little Chrissy to let her know that its ok to been seen.  There is nothing to fear or be embarrassed about.

I let her know that what she has to say and share with the world, matters.

I let her know that she is learning and sometimes that means failing and trying again.

I let her know that she is loved and she doesn’t have anything to fear.

I’m the adult and I will be seen for both of us.

She is part of me, and as I’m healing this part of me, I can own my power and my grace to be seen.

Sometimes it is the little traumas that we don’t realize are getting in our way.

When your little one gets in the way of your success, it is time to take a look at who is really showing up in your life.

Ask yourself this question…….Is it your adult, or your little one, who is blocking your success? 

Here I am posing on the big stage at the eWomenNetwork Conference!

Here I am posing on the big stage at the eWomenNetwork Conference!

Fast forward to today:

I am being guided to make a bigger presence and bigger impact to share my message to bigger groups. I met an amazing speaker coach at the eWomenNetwork International Conference in August who is helping me strengthen my skills as a professional speaker and messenger.

I am standing in MY truth and sharing with the world my message about living consciously and creating more peace, love and equanimity in our lives.

I am standing in MY truth and teaching practical tools to women and men, about how to eliminate their self imposed suffering with worry, anxiety, fear and anger.

I am standing in MY truth and doing my own inner work and be the change I want to see in the world.

I am standing in MY truth to learn, grow and evolve as a professional coach, trainer AND speaker to share my message  with the world.

Can you relate to my story either as a child or an adult? Where are you hiding in your life?

I am here to be seen. And I see you.

With much love and gratitude,

signature.chris_smaller

 

 

 

 

 

If you liked this post, I’d love to hear your comments below. And if you know that this post would support others, please share it…thanks!

I am the one who chooses.

“Grace is perfect, even when my life isn’t.”  ~Deepak Chopra:

Manifesting Grace through Gratitude Meditation

Have you ever experienced a time when you felt like you were hit with one crisis after another?

As I consciously let go of more chaos, noise and clutter in my life, I am experiencing these “crises” differently.

While journaling in my morning pages last week, this poem came forward from me to write. I want to share it with you:

Life is filled with joys, sorrows, traumas and happiness. Each experience is in service for me to learn.

I am the one who chooses.

I choose how to experience it.

I choose to see the truth or the lie.Lesson 6 - powerful in all decision making

I choose to act or react.

I choose to see the lesson or the story.

I choose joy or sorrow.

I choose love or fear.

I choose to see the truth, the right action, the healing lesson, the joy and the love.

I have the power of my own choice.

I am the one who chooses.

Since I wrote this, I have been challenged with a few “crises” and came back to the poem as a powerful reminder of the choices I had.

I hope it supports you when your life isn’t perfect.

With much love and gratitude,

signature.chris_smaller

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Loving Yourself. Is it in Your Blind Spot?

Wow, what a question. Have you taken an honest look at your life recently to see if loving yourself is in your blind spot?blind spot

What you don’t see are the obstacles in the way from you truly loving and honoring yourself in your life.  That’s why it’s in your blind spot.

You might think that going to the gym, getting your mani and pedi and shopping might be acts of self-love.  But those are just the surface levels of love. Those are external forms of self-love.

The obstacles that are in the way might be a belief that you are unlovable, that came from your childhood.  Another obstacle might be your critical self that always sees what’s wrong with you. Perhaps one of your parents treated you that way.  And now you treat yourself that way.

Only you can change the behavior or pattern that is blocking your deep authentic love for yourself.

Yesterday I was in conversation with a woman about her experience around self-love.  She recently went to an event that allowed her to see her resentments in her life.  Unbeknownst to her, those resentments were an obstacle in her life.

She had an opportunity to look at her life and release the obstacles.  She was amazed at this awareness and then how she felt so much love for herself!  She felt a powerful shift from surviving to thriving in her life.  And then she asked me:

“Do you think we naturally love ourselves?”

I believe that at our core we are love. I believe that as we come into the world as beautiful precious babies we know that love. As we grow older and experience life’s pains and trauma, that innocence is lost and we forget that love.

Then what happens is that we consciously or unconsciously choose unloving behaviors towards ourselves.

inner critic messagesWe speak to ourselves with critical statements. That is unloving.

We look externally for love. The next relationship. The next car. That is unloving.

We make choices to please other people, even though we know inside its not a self honoring choice. That is unloving.

We fill our lives and calendars with so many activities. We say YES to everything. Then we over extend ourselves to exhaustion. That is unloving.

So the key to loving yourself is to become consciously aware of your relationship you have with yourself. Slow down. Spend some time with yourself and reflect inside.

The more you unlearn the unloving behaviors, patterns and actions, then you can learn to create a more loving relationship with yourself, with behaviors that are self-honoring and self-loving.

The love is naturally there. The key is to move into that loving that is always there.

“Loving yourself…does not mean being self-absorbed or narcissistic, or disregarding others. Rather it means welcoming yourself as the most honored guest in your own heart, a guest worthy of respect, a lovable companion.” ~ Margo Anand

If you are ready to take a look at your life, call me.  You deserve to be the most honored guest in your own heart!

Much love,

chris-signature

All Roads Lead Back to Self-Love

I spent this past month working with some amazing women, first at my Mountain Retreat in Flagstaff and secondly as a workshop facilitator at the 26th Annual YWCA Leadership Conference in Tucson.

The women at my retreat put aside 3 days to “Listen to the Whispers of their Soul” and every one of them came away with the awareness that every dream they had in their busy lives was missing one important piece.  Their deep and intimate love for themselves.

ALL ROADS LEAD BACK TO SELF-LOVE.

At the YWCA Leadership Conference, 400+ women honored themselves by committing a full day to learn how to design their own lives, do good business and IMG_1044 (2)create a smarter world. In my workshop I spoke to a standing room only crowd of women who wanted to know how to “Build themselves from the Inside Out”.

What they learned was that making self-honoring choices in their lives was the foundation for their self-mastery and self-love.

ALL ROADS LEAD BACK TO SELF-LOVE.

In my experience as a coach working with my clients, no matter what challenge they might be facing or journey they might be stepping into …all roads lead back to their self-love.

It could be the busy professional who doesn’t know how to slow down to make time for her self care. She is still hearing the old tape in her head that “it’s not good enough” so she keeps working harder and harder.

SELF-LOVE IS CHANGING THE WAY SHE SPEAKS TO HERSELF TO BE LOVING, KIND AND SUPPORTIVE, AND CREATING WHITE SPACE IN HER DAY FOR REJUVENATION.

It could be the Mom who has given her whole life for her family and continues to give, and she is exhausted and running on empty. And she is bitter and anger and her perception is that her family doesn’t appreciate all she does for them.

SELF-LOVE IS LEARNING TO SAY NO TO OTHERS IN A COMPLETE SENTENCE AND LETTING GO OF CODEPENDENT AND CARE-TAKING BEHAVIORS.

It could be the woman who doesn’t like the woman she sees in the mirror each day. She loathes to even look at herself. She judges her lookspositive-self-talk as not pretty enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, not enough, not enough etc.

SELF-LOVE IS SEEING HER BEAUTY DEEP INSIDE OF HERSELF, LOVING AND APPRECIATING HERSELF EXACTLY AS SHE IS IN HER OWN MAGNIFICENCE.

It could be the entrepreneur who is stepping into her true calling of serving others and she holds herself back because she has an old tape from her childhood that says, “Who do you think you are? You can’t do that!”

i-thought loving younger selfSELF-LOVE IS LOVING THAT YOUNG ONE INSIDE OF HER WHO KEPT HERSELF SMALL, AND LETTING HER KNOW THAT SHE IS BEAUTIFUL, SWEET, PURE AND INTEGRATING HER BACK INSIDE INSTEAD OF REJECTING HER.

I believe that Self-Love is the foundation for all well being and healing. I have experienced the lack of self-love myself. When I finally learned the baby steps of loving myself, I saw how strong I became from the inside out. This is the strength I brought to my world to create my life and career as I desired.

ALL ROADS TO HEALING AND WELL BEING LEAD BACK TO SELF-LOVE.

i-thought love myself

The theme of the YWCA Leadership Conference was about being a changemaker. All of the women who attended where challenged by Kelly Fryer, the Executive Director of YWCA Tucson, to see where they can be a changemaker in their world. It really made me think about how I could be a changemaker.  Then I realized that I already am a changemaker.

My mission is to help people become more self-aware of their lives and to strengthen in their Self-Love.

Have you taken some sacred time to look at your life and evaluate how you love yourself?  It is necessary to your wholeness and well being in your life.  All roads lead back to self-love.

Much love,

chris-signature

In the silence, I heard.

Four years ago, my left eye exploded. 

explosion

One day, I noticed strange white spots in my left eye and could not explain it.Little did I know, I had experienced a retinal vein occlusion (yes look it up!)

People that have this are either old or in really poor health. I was neither.

After seeking the advise of a retina specialist, I quickly moved into a series of injections to shrink the swelling on the back of my eye. But it wasn’t fixing it or healing it.

Why was this happening to me? 

My life was fantastic at the time.  I had just completed my graduate studies in Spiritual Psychology and gotten married all within a few months of this happening.

What was my eye trying to tell me?

I made a conscious decision on Easter weekend to totally unplug and listen to my heart, my soul AND my eye.  What was it about my vision?  What was it about pressure?  Why can’t I see clearly?

In the silence, I heard. silence

It was time for me to step into my vision for myself and move into my consulting business full time.  My fear held me back.  I was afraid to leave my well paid job at my family business.

In the silence, I heard.

It was time for me to step into the unknown and fly. It was time for me to leave my family business.  It was time. That was the message I heard.

In the silence, I heard.

It took the gracefulness of silence for me to hear the whispers of what my heart, my soul and my eye wanted me to know.

Now, I want to share with you the experience of slowing down enough to listen. When you slow down, you too can hear the whispers of your soul.

Would you like to join me in the pines of Flagstaff, Arizona for a sacred Women’s Retreat in September?

Are you ready to listen to the whispers of your soul?

Come join me and a group of like-minded women in my mountain home, in the cool pines of Flagstaff Arizona, September 12, 13 & 14 for an all-inclusive weekend to unplug from your busy life of “doing” and slow way down to listen.

Awaken to the Whispers of Your Soul: A Woman’s Mountain Retreat September 12–14, 2014 in Flagstaff, ArizonaSome of our activities will include serene meditation walks in the Ponderosa Pine forest right behind my home.  You will be entering a sacred container of peace, tranquility and space to connect with your deep inner wisdom with 8 other magnificent women.

As you slow down, you will hear the whispers of your soul.

For all the details and registration for the retreat  CLICK HERE!!!

 

Just as a reminder, space is limited for this transformational retreat!

If you believe this this retreat is right for you, call me today!

 
Much love and light,
  
 

Your Comfort Zone. Are You Ready to Move Beyond?

Who in their right mind would want to be uncomfortable?  Isn’t comfort where you want to be all the time?  Knowing exactly what will happen in your life, doing the same thing, day in and day out…..now that’s comforting.  But is it really?

Being safe and comfortable can be important to your happiness, but when you live in your comfort zone ALL the time, you really don’t grow and have new experiences.

Do you do the SAME workout every week and are wondering why you are not getting any results?  Do you have the SAME arguments with your partner and nothing changes?  Do you question yourself if you are in the right job because you do the SAME thing every day and you don’t excited about the work you do?

It’s time to step out of your comfort zone if you want different results!

Most times, it is fear of the unknown that can hold you back. You know you might want something different, but you are afraid of what can happen if you change. What would happen if you stepped out of your comfort zone?  What would happen if you moved into something that is uncomfortable? What would it look like if you trusted and surrendered that you would be ok?

When you take action and move into the steps to where you want to be, it WILL be uncomfortable.  Trust and surrender.  This is the place where you grow and transform.

Ready to step out of my comfort zone in my GoLoco Jersey!

Recently I came into an awareness about myself with my comfort zone and my cycling workouts.  I was really wishy washy with my workouts.  I didn’t like going anywhere other than my regular route.  I did NOT like it when my husband took a different route. I WAS UNCOMFORTABLE!

In my own self reflection of my commitments to myself, this was standing out to me as a place where I wanted different results and it was time for me to step into my fear and my uncomfortableness.

I made a commitment to myself to step into my fear.  This past weekend, instead of my usual easy 20 mile ride on the same route, I made a commitment to a different route that I had not been on before, and to complete a 40 mile route around my community.  As I stepped into my fear, I remembered my commitment to MYSELF and the changes I wanted. I surrendered to the unknown.

I rode the entire route with this message in my head (and my heart) and YES, I WAS UNCOMFORTABLE.  And I completed the 40 miles and found a new route with a different view of the city! 

It may have been uncomfortable at first, and I know the more I take this new route with my commitment to myself, that it will become more comfortable each time.  And when it becomes too comfortable, it will be time for a new route, with a new goal.

This experience reminds me of a quote I read last week from my beloved mentor and professor at the University of Santa Monica:

“The most comfortable place you could ever live is outside of your comfort zone, because it is the only place where you are going to find growth. It is the only place you are going to rise up and continue to lift into higher states of consciousness and move more and more into trust, into surrender.”  – Ron Hulnick

What is your experience with stepping into the uncomfortable in your life?  How did it feel?  I’d love to hear from you and how your experience was…or is!   Share your comments below!

Much love + light,

 

Transform to a New YOU for the New Year

As the New Year is upon us, for many it is a time for a new start.  A clean slate.  Out with the old and in with the new.  Time for a fresh start with new intentions, goals and resolutions. (Personally, I like using the word “intention” instead of resolution.  It has more energy and power!)

It is easy to get caught up in the same old, “I will start my exercise program”….”I will lose weight”…..I will take my vitamins”.  It seems that most of us set New Year’s Intentions that are focused on our physical or mental body.

How about a New Year’s intention that supports your Emotional and Spiritual Self?

These are significant areas in your life that are easy to skip over and forget. However, supporting your emotional and spiritual self can transform your way of being.  Yes, your way of being.  Who you are inside.  Your heart and soul, not just the funny body you happen to live in.

Here are some suggestions of New Year’s Intentions that will support your inner growth:

1.   I will consciously do at least 5 random acts of kindness a week.

2.   I will spend 5 minutes a day in quiet and stillness.

3.   I will spend time in nature at least 3 times a week.

4.   I will pay attention to my thoughts and when they are negative, I will shift them to positive thoughts with affirmations.

5.   I will take of my upsets and process them inside, instead of projecting them on someone else.

6.   I will end each day with gratitude in my heart for all my experiences that day.

7.   I will consciously do one joy filled activity a day to honor my love and respect for me.

Some of these intentions can be very simple if you are consciously aware of your actions and behaviors.  Setting intentions to change your way of being  can be very powerful for you and how you show up in your world.

Add just a few of these suggestions to your list of New Year’s Intentions and you will see changes in how you feel about yourself.  And most amazingly, the people around you will see and feel a difference in you.

Do you have any New Year’s Intentions that support your inner growth? 

Have you ever made these changes in your way of being and experiences a new you?  I’d love to hear from you!  Share in the comment section below.

Wishing you a Blessed, prosperous and life changing 2013!

Much love and light,

Your Power: Authentic or Egoic?

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.”
~Lao-Tzu~

When do you feel powerful?  When you feel confident and in your integrity?  Or when you feel smarter, better and “above” someone else?

I was part of a table top discussion with some professional women this week and we were asked, “when do you feel powerful?”   It was very insightful to hear the different perspectives of what the word meant to them.

Most of these ladies shared that they felt empowered when they were in their integrity, knowledge, mastery, authentic self and being of service to help others.

Their power came from within.

When they made honoring choices that aligned with their value system, they became powerful within themselves.  They also strengthened their inner power when:

  • When they didn’t accept poor behavior from others.
  • When they said ‘no’ to things that didn’t serve them.
  • When they made choices that weren’t popular, but they were the right thing to do.

Their power, integrity and self-respect were obvious to others.

However it was interesting that some ladies were turned off by the word “powerful” and felt negative emotions towards the word.  Not knowing their past experiences, perhaps they had (or still have) someone in their life who has power over them.  Everyone’s perceptions are different and come from their past experiences and beliefs systems.

It’s easy to give your power up to someone else.  When you own your power, no one can take it from you.  That is true authentic power, not egoic power.

About ten years ago, I didn’t fully understand my own personal power.  Since then, after years of conscious reflection and healing, I can see clearly how I used to give up my power.  Now I know the difference and own my inner power.  My life’s lessons have helped me learn this.  You too, can reflect and make different choices in your life about your power.

Take a look at your life.  Do you live your life aligned with your value system?  Do you know your value system?  Do you strive to live in your integrity every day?  When do you feel powerful or empowered?  

I would love to hear from you in the comment section below about when you feel powerful or empowered.  Easy, simple.  I’d love to know. Thanks for sharing!

Much love and light,

 

9 Steps to Dissolve Your Fear

Does fear have its hold on you?  Do you find it challenging to make changes in your life, because of fear? Do you feel like you are missing out on the good things in life because you are afraid to take the steps to get you there?

Are you afraid of the unknown future, so you don’t do anything?

You are not alone.  You are like many of us who want to find more inner peace, but somehow fear has paralyzed you.   At your evolutionary roots, fear comes from your fight or flight reflexes within your brain to keep you safe from harm.

Your thoughts of fear are what stop you in your tracks.

No need to let fear control your life anymore!  When you take the time to look deep inside yourself you can transmute fear to be part of your support system.

Not too long ago, I lived in fear of change and failure.   When I finally moved to a place in my life where I had the courage to change (because I wanted it bad enough!) I acknowledged my fear and stepped into it anyway.

Here are the 9 steps that guided me, and will help you release the hold that fear has on you:

1.  Take a deep look at how fear exists in your life.

2.  Have a dialog with fear and find out its deeper purpose for you.

3.  Ask fear to take on a new supportive role in your life.

4.  Take a look at what you really want in your life where fear is your obstacle.

5.  Visualize yourself already in action living your dream, with fear by your side in its new role.

6.  Thank your fear for its old role and celebrate its new role.

7.  Create action steps to manifest your dream, with fear in its new role.

8.  Take your steps one by one as you move closer to your dream.

9.  Celebrate your courage as you manifest your dream and you live your life to its fullest!

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”  ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Take back your power and the control fear has on you.  Each time you move into action with these steps, you become stronger and build your courage muscles.  Your fear will become smaller and smaller each time.  You will find yourself ready to take on any challenge, and you will have a new relationship with fear as a support instead of roadblock.

You have the power to dissolve your fear.  You’ve had it all along.

When you want change bad enough, you can make anything happen!  I hope that these steps are helpful to you and if you feel they may help someone you know, please share this blog with them, and your friends on Facebook and Twitter on the buttons below.

I would also love to hear what has helped you dissolve fear in your life, so please share in the comment section below!

 

Much love and light,

 

Are you Paying Attention to Signs and Synchronicities?

Do you sometimes wonder if God is trying to send you messages?  Do things happen in your life and you wonder if you are supposed to pay attention to a deeper meaning of what’s going on right in front of you?

Time to pay attention.

When you become more conscious of your life, through intentions or reflections, you will see how the divine messages come to you.  Conscious awareness to the signs and synchronicities that show up in your life can be an eye opener and not just a coincidence.

It took me while, and when I began to pay attention, I was amazed.

My personal journey of conscious awareness began about seven years ago when I was in the midst of what I call my mid-life reflection.  I took a look at my life and asked myself if I was happy.  I could see the chaos and dysfunction in me and around me.  I stopped blaming others for my unhappiness, took responsibility for it and dove head first into the discovery and healing of me.

As soon as I made the shift to conscious awareness, I could finally see my divine path of happiness right in front of me.

I paid attention to my energy and how I felt in the presence of other people.  I learned to let go of those relationships that drained my energy.  I was then guided to more positive and loving relationships in my personal and professional life.  Those relationships are the ones that fueled my positive energy.

When I would ask God for a sign to guide me, it would be shown.  Not necessarily in my timing, but in divine timing. 

This was a sign given to me by a fellow USM student. She picked me out of the crowd and gave it to me. It surely was an obvious sign for me!

I had to be patient and trust that I would be guided.  Sometimes the sign would clearly indicate where I was NOT supposed to be.  Then I would change paths instead of trying to force my will on something that was not meant to be.

When you follow the signs that bring you to your divine path, life actually becomes more peaceful and joyful.

When you take the time to reflect on your life, pay close attention to what manifests in your life.  Here are my simple take away tips for you to follow your divine path:

1.      Take quiet time to pray and meditate each morning and set your intentions for your day, not your to-do list, but intentions of how you want to be.

2.      Ask God (or whatever your higher power might be) to show you signs of your divine path.

3.      At the end of each day, take time to reflect and review what messages you may have been shown.

4.      Let go of any negative attitudes, actions and behaviors that no longer serve you or your path.

5.      Acknowledge your gratitude for all the goodness and lessons in your life.

I challenge you to move into these action steps to discover more about your divine path. Begin today!

If you have already experienced the divinity of signs and synchronicities in your life, I’d LOVE to hear about them!  Share here in the comment section below.  If you love this post and think that it would be helpful to your peeps, please share it.  Enjoy your journey!!

 

Much love and light,