What can you do?

What can you do?

It seems like every day more chaos erupts in the world.

How does it make you feel? Angry, bitter, hateful? It might be easy to jump to these negative feelings.

But adding hate to hate does not solve the problem. And you can’t solve the world’s problems yourself.

What can you do in your world to make a difference?

First, you can send love and blessings to all the individuals connected with the violent situations. You can send this love and light to all concerned for their highest good.

Next, look to see where you might have chaos in your life. Where do you have judgements towards others?

Where do you create separation from others?

Then you can look to see if you are open to forgiving your judgments towards the other person or persons. This can be tricky as I suggest forgiving your judgments against the person, not forgiving the person.

This doesn’t condone their behavior, but it releases you from your suffering. This is your barrier to loving energy.

Then send love and light to the other person. They don’t even have to know. Have compassion for both of you. See the truth in whatever the situation might be.

Be the loving example.

I have asked myself this question recently, “What can I do?” I have taken a deep dive myself into what my chaos is. Yes, I still get triggered and upset at situations…I’m still human!

I easily found the person(s) whom I had judgements towards. I moved through the forgiveness process. I have sent the love. I actually send them love and light every day in my prayers.

What would it feel like for you to release your chaos?

Peaceful, free, expansive, open, and light.  I know because this is what I’m feeling now that I am in the process of healing the chaos in my heart.

What would the world be like if we all took responsibility for our chaos and took action to heal it?

This may only be an small step, yet the world is ready for many small steps of healing. This reminds me of the quote by my beloved mentor, Dr. Ron Hulnick from the University of Santa Monica;

vision1Every time one person resolves one issue, all of humanity evolves.”

I challenge you to take a look into your world. Maybe your chaos and judgment is towards another person, or maybe it is towards yourself.

How can you heal yourself and let it be part of the collective healing of humanity.

That’s what you can do. 

Sending you much love, light and healing,

signature.chris_smaller

 

 

Asleep at the Wheel of Life

Is your life on autopilot? Do you move through the motions to make it through each day?

Do you get up, take care of your family, go to work, take care of everyone and everything at work, come home at the end of the day and take care of everyone and everything AGAIN…then crash at the end of the day? 

Does this sound familiar? You might be asleep at the wheel of life.asleep-at-the-wheel-commercial

Here are some other indicators that you might be asleep:

  • Everyone else comes first and you are last on your list.
  • You find yourself bitter, angry and resentful because no one helps you.
  • You keep doing more, hoping for happiness.
  • You “forget” about your self care.
  • You feel like life is passing you by.
  • You have no energy.
  • You feel like you are living a lie.

I know what it is like, because I was asleep at the wheel of my own life.

Not too long ago I was living the life I thought was planned out for me. I had my personal and professional life in order…or so I thought.

I made it look good on the outside with my smile and my mask of happiness. On the inside, I was lost and empty.

I didn’t see the dysfunction I was immersed in. I didn’t see the crazy behavior I was a part of. I didn’t see how unhealthy my choices were. I didn’t see that there were options to find peace and happiness. I was too afraid to look at my own life.

Have you ever felt this insanity too?

It took the 2×4 of crisis for me to slow down and take that deep honest look at my life. Once I began the process of waking up, I saw that the more I healed my inner world, then my outer world began to shift. After a decade of inner transformation myself, now I support women and men to wake up to their lives!

honor yourselfIt is time to wake up.

If you feel an inner calling to awaken to your life, the time is now!

I have a 5 step process that will support you:

  1. Slow down.  Create quiet time every day just for yourself and your inner reflection. This could be a morning meditation, prayer, journaling or all of the above.
  2. Become aware of your life. Pay attention to what disturbs your peace. What upsets you…and why? What brings you joy…and why? Be curious, without judgment, to all of your life.
  3. Choose what honors you and your highest good. In the space of awareness of your life, now you can make the choice to let go of the old behaviors, habits and patterns that don’t serve you. You can simultaneously choose to bring more joy and upliftment into your life.
  4. Take action. Every step you take in the awakening process can be exciting AND fear filled. Take action anyways! Taking action despite the fear is called courage. Take one step at a time to honor yourself. Feel the feelings before, during and after each action step. Resistance might show up and know that it is a normal process. Inquire inside about the resistance (which is usually fear) and continue taking action.
  5. Create support structures. Waking up to your life requires support. This can be family, friends, therapists, coaches, communities in addition to asking for support from God (Spirit, Universe, Creator, Source…whatever fits for you) and other spiritual resources.

A decade ago I couldn’t have guessed where I would be today in my life, relationships and career. Because of my own awakening to my life, I have created the life and work of my dreams! I continue to be keenly aware in my life and move to a place of peace much quicker than I may have in the past.

The more I continue to do my inner work, I can take my clients that that deep place of healing as well.

I feel so blessed to share my gifts to support others moving through their awakening. As they wake up, then they become the mentors and role models for others in their life.

As each one of us awakens, we expand the ripple effect of light and illumination to the world.

Hand Made Heart HD Wallpaper

If you feel like this is your time to wake up, I invite you to call me. I would love to support you and your awakening. The time is now!

Much love,

signature.chris_smaller

Skipping Over The Pain

Who wants to feel pain?  If you hurt yourself physically such as spraining your ankle, you take a pain reliever….right? You eliminate the pain and suffering. It helps you tolerate the pain and still get on with life.

Yet what happens when you feel emotional pain?

Do you automatically take a pain reliever? A pain reliever for emotional pain might be…

…avoidance.no pain

…busyness.

…justification.

…alcohol or drugs.

…any combination of these “pain relievers” listed above.

Again, who wants to feel pain?

Not too long ago, I was an expert at skipping over my own pain.

My feelings of anger, resentment and bitterness were pushed down with avoidance and busyness.  I even created a story that justified my actions.  No one knew how often I shoved down my upset feelings.

I just kept plugging away at my life and skipping over my pain.

Seriously I was so good at skipping over any pain. I was also the one who took ibuprofen and cold medicine at the first sign of physical pain or illness.  I didn’t have time for the pain.

What I didn’t see was the manifestation of my actions. It was adding to my stress and anxiety in life. I was totally drained physically and actually moved to a place of numbness in my emotions.

emotions4I was so numb, I wasn’t even aware when I skipped the pain. My actions had become unconscious.

Until I finally had hit my threshold of silent suffering and asked for help.

When I first started seeing my therapist, she could see how numb I was. I had stuffed my anger and put on my big smile (my mask) so long it took a while before I could feel the anger and upset.

Needless to say, she and I worked together to help me feel the anger and release it in a safe way.  Pillows, plastic bats, yelling and screaming…I got so much out!

It was like I popped the cork and let the sh** flow out!

My life began to shift once I began to feel my emotions, especially the upsetting ones. Mad, anger, resentful, sadness, shame, guilt…I was finally able to feel them all and let them flow from me instead of avoiding them.

Coincidently at this time I also became allergic to over the counter pain medication! Now I had to feel the pain…of my physical and emotional pain.

Do you ever find yourself skipping over your pain?

Do you ignore it, avoid it and stay busy to not experience it?

Do you medicate your emotional pain?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, know that you are not alone. It is part of our human conditioning to avoid pain AND if you desire to live a fulfilling and healthy life, it is necessary to feel ALL your emotions.

Here are some steps to support you in this process.

  1. When you feel a disturbance of your peace inside, your physiology is triggered. This is your indicator that some emotion is coming up. DON’T SKIP OVER THE FEELINGS!
  2. Stop what are doing, take a personal break from what you are doing and give yourself some space to inquire inside. STEP AWAY!
  3. Ask yourself, “What’s going on inside of me?” Don’t sugar coat it, ask for the truth and allow the emotion to come up. SEE THE TRUTH!
  4. Your feeling might be anger or sadness…both are very real and important feelings. If you are feeling the anger, grab a pen and paper and write down what is coming up for you. I call this “Free Form Writing” where you kinesthetically release your upset emotions on to the paper. You just write every dirty word, uncensored, raw and real words that want to come up.  DON’T REREAD WHAT YOU WROTE! This is a healthy release of upset emotions and and opportunity for you to tap into what’s really going on inside of you.
  5. As you release your anger, you might feel like crying.  LET YOUR TEARS FLOW! Your tears flow as a release from any emotion that may have been blocked. Don’t judge your crying as weak as it is imperative that you allow them to flow.
  6. Remember, don’t reread what you wrote in your Free Form Writing. Crumple up your paper and BURN IT IN A SAFE PLACE.
  7. Move to a place of love and compassion for yourself.  APPLY LOVING AND LIGHT to the parts that hurt.
  8. Repeat these steps as needed when you feel an upset inside. Your personal self-inquiry is so important as you will find out what’s really going on inside of you. FIND YOUR HEALTHY RELEASE!

The more you can identify and feel your upsetting emotions, the more you will be able to feel the good emotions like joy, happiness, fulfillment and love.

I use these tools in my life to support my mental, emotional and physical health. And there are still times that I find emotions5myself skipping over my feelings. I am blessed to work with an amazing coach and spiritual teacher who helps me see my blind spots when I’m unconsciously skipping over my pain.

I continue to do my own inner work and do my own self-inquiries about my feelings in my life.  As I do my own work, it strengthens me so I can support my clients and the people in my life.

To bring this poignant topic home, I am sharing more lyrics from Carly Simon’s song, “Haven’t Got Time For the Pain” that bring this full circle:

Suffering was the only thing that made me feel I was alive
Though that’s just how much it cost to survive in this world
’til you showed me how, how to fill my heart with love
How to open up and drink in all that white light
Pouring down from the heaven
I haven’t got time for the pain
I haven’t got room for the pain
I haven’t the need for the pain
Not since I’ve known you”

Fill your heart with self-compassion and love. “Open up and drink in all that white light pouring down from heaven.”

If this blog post touches your emotions and resonates with you, I’d love to hear your comments or questions in the comment section below.

If you desire more support in understanding more about your feelings, I invite you to call me so I can support you in finding more peace, happiness and fulfillment in your life.

Much love,

signature.chris_smaller

 

 

 

If you change nothing, then nothing will change.

On November 3rd I had the honor of facilitating a workshop at the YWCA Southern Arizona 27th Annual Leadership Conference.

It was such a powerful day inspiration, transformation and change opportunities for all the women who attended.sold out room YWCA

My workshop was about Emotional Intelligence at Work and I had room filled to capacity (and a few others snuck in and stood in the back of the room) with 87 women.

It was an awesome experience for me to fill a room!

What I heard from so many of these women was;

“I know I need to work on strengthening myself.”
“I know I need to work on my Emotional Intelligence skills.”
“I am always filled with anxiety and stress.”
“I want to learn how to connect with others better.”

Yet when I invited these women to a deeper conversation to support them, their fear kicked in and said, “no, not now.”

If not now, then when? If you change nothing, then nothing will change.

I know that it is not easy to take an honest look at your life. I know because I avoided taking a look at my life for a long time. In my busyaholic life, I didn’t have time to look at my life.

I denied that anything was wrong with me…..I was happy with my life……really, I was was happy with my life….really, every thing as ok. (You couldn’t see my pain inside from my mask on the outside!)

I was afraid of the truth, I knew it would hurt.

I was afraid of changing, I feared the unknown.

I was afraid of disappointing others, I didn’t want to hurt anyone.

Yet I do know that when I finally took an honest long look at my life, without judgement, I could see what wasn’t working. I could see what behaviors I needed to change. I could see that if I continued to deny my truth and my voice, than nothing would change.

If not now, then when? If you change nothing, then nothing will change.

If you know that some areas in your life need your attention, now is the time.  Not 10 years from now when your suffering has doubled (I’ve done that too!).

Today I live a radiant life.

I took 100% responsibility for my happiness and took the steps to create the life and work of my dreams. It took one step, and then another, and then another.

It begins with a commitment to a better life and the change inside that creates that.

Are you ready to stop thinking about change and ready to take action?

Is it time for you to step into your dream life?

NOW IS THE TIME.

Come join me to begin your New Year of 2016.
YOUR YEAR OF CHANGE!
I want to invite you say YES to yourself and join me at:

RADIANT LIVING INTENSIVE

Building Your Success Roadmap for 2016

Saturday January 23, 2016

Skyline Country Club, Tucson Arizona

DSC_7813

Registration begins next week, so get your name on the pre-registration list now!

Email me at christine@heartfeltworkforce.com 

I look forward to connecting with you and holding the sacred space for you to create your success roadmap for 2016!

Here’s to a radiant YOU in the New Year!

Much love and gratitude,

 

All Roads Lead Back to Self-Love

I spent this past month working with some amazing women, first at my Mountain Retreat in Flagstaff and secondly as a workshop facilitator at the 26th Annual YWCA Leadership Conference in Tucson.

The women at my retreat put aside 3 days to “Listen to the Whispers of their Soul” and every one of them came away with the awareness that every dream they had in their busy lives was missing one important piece.  Their deep and intimate love for themselves.

ALL ROADS LEAD BACK TO SELF-LOVE.

At the YWCA Leadership Conference, 400+ women honored themselves by committing a full day to learn how to design their own lives, do good business and IMG_1044 (2)create a smarter world. In my workshop I spoke to a standing room only crowd of women who wanted to know how to “Build themselves from the Inside Out”.

What they learned was that making self-honoring choices in their lives was the foundation for their self-mastery and self-love.

ALL ROADS LEAD BACK TO SELF-LOVE.

In my experience as a coach working with my clients, no matter what challenge they might be facing or journey they might be stepping into …all roads lead back to their self-love.

It could be the busy professional who doesn’t know how to slow down to make time for her self care. She is still hearing the old tape in her head that “it’s not good enough” so she keeps working harder and harder.

SELF-LOVE IS CHANGING THE WAY SHE SPEAKS TO HERSELF TO BE LOVING, KIND AND SUPPORTIVE, AND CREATING WHITE SPACE IN HER DAY FOR REJUVENATION.

It could be the Mom who has given her whole life for her family and continues to give, and she is exhausted and running on empty. And she is bitter and anger and her perception is that her family doesn’t appreciate all she does for them.

SELF-LOVE IS LEARNING TO SAY NO TO OTHERS IN A COMPLETE SENTENCE AND LETTING GO OF CODEPENDENT AND CARE-TAKING BEHAVIORS.

It could be the woman who doesn’t like the woman she sees in the mirror each day. She loathes to even look at herself. She judges her lookspositive-self-talk as not pretty enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, not enough, not enough etc.

SELF-LOVE IS SEEING HER BEAUTY DEEP INSIDE OF HERSELF, LOVING AND APPRECIATING HERSELF EXACTLY AS SHE IS IN HER OWN MAGNIFICENCE.

It could be the entrepreneur who is stepping into her true calling of serving others and she holds herself back because she has an old tape from her childhood that says, “Who do you think you are? You can’t do that!”

i-thought loving younger selfSELF-LOVE IS LOVING THAT YOUNG ONE INSIDE OF HER WHO KEPT HERSELF SMALL, AND LETTING HER KNOW THAT SHE IS BEAUTIFUL, SWEET, PURE AND INTEGRATING HER BACK INSIDE INSTEAD OF REJECTING HER.

I believe that Self-Love is the foundation for all well being and healing. I have experienced the lack of self-love myself. When I finally learned the baby steps of loving myself, I saw how strong I became from the inside out. This is the strength I brought to my world to create my life and career as I desired.

ALL ROADS TO HEALING AND WELL BEING LEAD BACK TO SELF-LOVE.

i-thought love myself

The theme of the YWCA Leadership Conference was about being a changemaker. All of the women who attended where challenged by Kelly Fryer, the Executive Director of YWCA Tucson, to see where they can be a changemaker in their world. It really made me think about how I could be a changemaker.  Then I realized that I already am a changemaker.

My mission is to help people become more self-aware of their lives and to strengthen in their Self-Love.

Have you taken some sacred time to look at your life and evaluate how you love yourself?  It is necessary to your wholeness and well being in your life.  All roads lead back to self-love.

Much love,

chris-signature

6 Empowering Steps to Build Your Inner Freedom

When you look at your life, what do you need to let go of?  What drains your power on a regular basis?  Does it bring you suffering?

Are you ready to take the steps to release it and feel the peace inside?

You may find yourself all knotted up when you think about what you should let go of in your life.  It could be toxic people, old beliefs, hurts from the past, anger and resentment, emotional weight or even self defeating behaviors.  When you take some quality reflective time, you will discover exactly what it is you need to release from your life.

At one time or another, I had all of the above hanging on to me.  I have been blessed to have experience the pain (yes, blessed) because it moved me action to find better solutions to my pain.  In my own life journey, I have learned the following steps that have helped me find my own inner peace:

1.  Take the quiet time to go inside and reflect.  Be honest with yourself and look to see what it is that you are ready to let go of.

2.  Write down what it is, relationships, hurts, behaviors, etc.  Acknowledge it in writing.  Take a look at it.

3.  Build your resource team to help you let go, support you, keep you accountable and celebrate with you when you have released. This could be a trusted friend, therapist or coach.

4.  Create your action plan and move into it.  One step at a time. Be courageous and vulnerable.

5.  Acknowledge yourself every step of the way of your release.  It may be simple and quick or it may take some time.  Be patient and loving to yourself along the way.

6.  Keep reminding yourself that every self honoring choice moves you closer to your inner peace and freedom.

You will find this letting go process very self empowering and freeing.  And here is the best part of the letting go process….

You can bring what you truly desire into your life now.  Bring on all the goodness!

I know that I’m ready to let go of procrastinating about writing my blogs and videos!  I’m ready to let go of that perfectionist voice in my head that says its not good enough.  I’m not a perfectionist because I’m always a work in progress!

How about you?  What are you ready to let go of?  I’d love to hear about what you are ready to let go of in the comment section below. Remember when you declare it, you make it real!!!

Much love and light,