What the Babies Taught me About Leadership

(Cuteness alert!) Have you ever learned a life lesson from someone you least expected to?

I have spent the past three months learning lessons from my beautiful twin granddaughters, Morgan and Natalie, who were born on December 15, 2016.

IMG_4092 (Edited)

I was blessed to have my daughter and her newborns stay with me and my husband in our Tucson home. She wanted to be near family as she learned to navigate life with her new babies for the first 3 months of their lives.

Was life in our home crazy? 

Yes, especially night time feedings. She would take one baby and I would take the other…multiple times a night.

Yikes….talk about sleep deprivation!  

I learned so much about my self leadership while caring for these adorable babies.

Who would have thought that they would teach me?

This was the most rewarding and exhausting experience AND I feel so blessed that I could spend this most important time with all of them.

IMG_4217Here are the self leadership lessons these beautiful angels taught me:

1.  BE PRESENT IN THE MOMENT.  These little ones are demanding and if I wasn’t present in my attention and my loving, they could feel it. One day I was trying to check emails on my phone, which was on my leg, while feeding Morgan.

She wanted my attention and in her beautiful innocence, kicked my phone off my leg sending it crashing to the tile floor….cracking the screen….ouch!  I heard you Morgan, loud and clear….pay attention when I’m feeding you!

2. MY SELF-CARE IS A MUST. I learned this quickly because sleep deprivation affects EVERYTHING. These babies needed 24/7 care, so we had to do what we could when they were sleeping, which wasn’t always at the same time. I ended up with a 3 week cold that wouldn’t go away. My immune system was taxed!

Both my daughter and I had to make sure that we each had a nap during the day.

My morning meditation practice was never the same. Some days I was rocking a baby to sleep while listening to my meditation recording.  It was even a challenge to get out and take a walk in the neighborhood just to move my body.

I needed to squeeze my self-care activities into the day so that I could fill my cup and continue to give to them. Some days were better than others.

3.  DO THE MOST IMPORTANT THING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.  This entire experience of co-caring for the babies was THE most important thing. I put all my networking meetings aside. I was VERY select about the clients I did business with during this time.

In the last month of their stay, I found myself focusing on my quality time with the babies. I would let them nap on me instead of rushing to get dishes or laundry done.  I would play on the floor with them instead rushing to check my email or social media.

4. LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART.  Babies are just bundles of love. They exude love, innocence and purity and you can see it in their eyes. All they want is love, security and to be cared for.

Isn’t that what you and I want today as adults….love, security and to be cared for? Looking into their eyes every day cracked my heart wide open AND it made me remember my own love, innocence and purity.

Loving them opened me up to even more loving of myself. Caring for them was an expression of love that I felt deep within my Soul.

Each day I cared for them, these lessons were brought in front of me and allowed me to make honoring choices for myself.IMG_0146

I see how easy it can be for new parents to forget about themselves and give themselves over to the babies or whomever someone might be caring for.

Have you ever forgotten about yourself when you get wrapped up in caring for someone or even a big project at work?

Each one of these lessons were brought to my attention at the perfect time. I didn’t always make the best choice at first, and that is where my learning came in.

The babies were just the beautiful experience for me to learn more about myself and how I lead my life. (more cuteness below!)

I invite you to look in your life right now and see where an experience is in front of you to learn some lessons. It may be disguised as exhaustion, suffering or lack of something.

Look deeper into the situation and see where you can make honoring choices in your life that support your total well being.

As always, if you need some support with what you discover, give me a call as I would love to support you in living your best life!

Much love,

 

 

 

 

PS….here is more cuteness of Morgan and Natalie to drink up!
IMG_4496

If you change nothing, then nothing will change.

On November 3rd I had the honor of facilitating a workshop at the YWCA Southern Arizona 27th Annual Leadership Conference.

It was such a powerful day inspiration, transformation and change opportunities for all the women who attended.sold out room YWCA

My workshop was about Emotional Intelligence at Work and I had room filled to capacity (and a few others snuck in and stood in the back of the room) with 87 women.

It was an awesome experience for me to fill a room!

What I heard from so many of these women was;

“I know I need to work on strengthening myself.”
“I know I need to work on my Emotional Intelligence skills.”
“I am always filled with anxiety and stress.”
“I want to learn how to connect with others better.”

Yet when I invited these women to a deeper conversation to support them, their fear kicked in and said, “no, not now.”

If not now, then when? If you change nothing, then nothing will change.

I know that it is not easy to take an honest look at your life. I know because I avoided taking a look at my life for a long time. In my busyaholic life, I didn’t have time to look at my life.

I denied that anything was wrong with me…..I was happy with my life……really, I was was happy with my life….really, every thing as ok. (You couldn’t see my pain inside from my mask on the outside!)

I was afraid of the truth, I knew it would hurt.

I was afraid of changing, I feared the unknown.

I was afraid of disappointing others, I didn’t want to hurt anyone.

Yet I do know that when I finally took an honest long look at my life, without judgement, I could see what wasn’t working. I could see what behaviors I needed to change. I could see that if I continued to deny my truth and my voice, than nothing would change.

If not now, then when? If you change nothing, then nothing will change.

If you know that some areas in your life need your attention, now is the time.  Not 10 years from now when your suffering has doubled (I’ve done that too!).

Today I live a radiant life.

I took 100% responsibility for my happiness and took the steps to create the life and work of my dreams. It took one step, and then another, and then another.

It begins with a commitment to a better life and the change inside that creates that.

Are you ready to stop thinking about change and ready to take action?

Is it time for you to step into your dream life?

NOW IS THE TIME.

Come join me to begin your New Year of 2016.
YOUR YEAR OF CHANGE!
I want to invite you say YES to yourself and join me at:

RADIANT LIVING INTENSIVE

Building Your Success Roadmap for 2016

Saturday January 23, 2016

Skyline Country Club, Tucson Arizona

DSC_7813

Registration begins next week, so get your name on the pre-registration list now!

Email me at christine@heartfeltworkforce.com 

I look forward to connecting with you and holding the sacred space for you to create your success roadmap for 2016!

Here’s to a radiant YOU in the New Year!

Much love and gratitude,

 

All Roads Lead Back to Self-Love

I spent this past month working with some amazing women, first at my Mountain Retreat in Flagstaff and secondly as a workshop facilitator at the 26th Annual YWCA Leadership Conference in Tucson.

The women at my retreat put aside 3 days to “Listen to the Whispers of their Soul” and every one of them came away with the awareness that every dream they had in their busy lives was missing one important piece.  Their deep and intimate love for themselves.

ALL ROADS LEAD BACK TO SELF-LOVE.

At the YWCA Leadership Conference, 400+ women honored themselves by committing a full day to learn how to design their own lives, do good business and IMG_1044 (2)create a smarter world. In my workshop I spoke to a standing room only crowd of women who wanted to know how to “Build themselves from the Inside Out”.

What they learned was that making self-honoring choices in their lives was the foundation for their self-mastery and self-love.

ALL ROADS LEAD BACK TO SELF-LOVE.

In my experience as a coach working with my clients, no matter what challenge they might be facing or journey they might be stepping into …all roads lead back to their self-love.

It could be the busy professional who doesn’t know how to slow down to make time for her self care. She is still hearing the old tape in her head that “it’s not good enough” so she keeps working harder and harder.

SELF-LOVE IS CHANGING THE WAY SHE SPEAKS TO HERSELF TO BE LOVING, KIND AND SUPPORTIVE, AND CREATING WHITE SPACE IN HER DAY FOR REJUVENATION.

It could be the Mom who has given her whole life for her family and continues to give, and she is exhausted and running on empty. And she is bitter and anger and her perception is that her family doesn’t appreciate all she does for them.

SELF-LOVE IS LEARNING TO SAY NO TO OTHERS IN A COMPLETE SENTENCE AND LETTING GO OF CODEPENDENT AND CARE-TAKING BEHAVIORS.

It could be the woman who doesn’t like the woman she sees in the mirror each day. She loathes to even look at herself. She judges her lookspositive-self-talk as not pretty enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, not enough, not enough etc.

SELF-LOVE IS SEEING HER BEAUTY DEEP INSIDE OF HERSELF, LOVING AND APPRECIATING HERSELF EXACTLY AS SHE IS IN HER OWN MAGNIFICENCE.

It could be the entrepreneur who is stepping into her true calling of serving others and she holds herself back because she has an old tape from her childhood that says, “Who do you think you are? You can’t do that!”

i-thought loving younger selfSELF-LOVE IS LOVING THAT YOUNG ONE INSIDE OF HER WHO KEPT HERSELF SMALL, AND LETTING HER KNOW THAT SHE IS BEAUTIFUL, SWEET, PURE AND INTEGRATING HER BACK INSIDE INSTEAD OF REJECTING HER.

I believe that Self-Love is the foundation for all well being and healing. I have experienced the lack of self-love myself. When I finally learned the baby steps of loving myself, I saw how strong I became from the inside out. This is the strength I brought to my world to create my life and career as I desired.

ALL ROADS TO HEALING AND WELL BEING LEAD BACK TO SELF-LOVE.

i-thought love myself

The theme of the YWCA Leadership Conference was about being a changemaker. All of the women who attended where challenged by Kelly Fryer, the Executive Director of YWCA Tucson, to see where they can be a changemaker in their world. It really made me think about how I could be a changemaker.  Then I realized that I already am a changemaker.

My mission is to help people become more self-aware of their lives and to strengthen in their Self-Love.

Have you taken some sacred time to look at your life and evaluate how you love yourself?  It is necessary to your wholeness and well being in your life.  All roads lead back to self-love.

Much love,

chris-signature

Dealing with Airtime Hogs: Tips for Better Communication With Non Listeners

During my workshop this past weekend, I had questions about how to have a meaningful conversation with those that talk non-stop.  One woman, Kathy, cleverly referred to them as “airtime hogs” because that is, in fact, what they do!

You can’t get a get a WORD in edgewise!

Here are some valuable tips to help you have a healthy dialog (yes, that means 2 people!) with those who may not even realize how they can overwhelm a conversation.

 

Step 1 – As the conversation begins, LET THEM KNOW that you really want to understand them and you may reflect back information, just to make sure you got it right.

Step 2FOCUS your attention on the content of what they are saying. Listen for the deeper meaning of what they are saying.

Step 3 – REPEAT what they have shared in segment as the conversation moves along.  Allow them to create forced pauses in the dialog.

Step 4 – FIND A GOLDEN NUGGET in what they are saying and PRAISE them.  We can all use some affirmation!

Own your personal power (NOT ego!) as you converse.  When you can take an active role in directing the conversation, AND LISTEN, you will surely see the difference.  You be the role model of open and meaningful conversations!

And for those of YOU WHO ARE AIRTIME HOGS……

…..learn to stop and listen to the the people you are in a conversation with.  You can acknowledge your behavior and change yourself in YOUR NEXT CONVERSATION!!

I hope you have found these suggestions to be valuable and I would LOVE to hear from you!! Leave a comment below…and share it…let me know what you think!

 

Are You Keeping Your Agreements in Your Workplace?

That is a very profound question indeed. How important is it to keep your agreements with the people in your personal and professional life? When you make an agreement with someone, it is your word, your commitment to something. The agreement is a reflection of YOU. This is how you show up in the world and how you are perceived. You are as good as your word…..or not.

In the workplace, we make agreements all day long, some simple and some complex. Our team agrees to show up to work, we agree to pay them on paydays. Our entire working life is made up of agreements. Some of the agreements are just unconscious for us and we just do them. However, it is the complex agreements, those consciously co-created agreements that may be the ones that are challenging for leaders and team members.

Effective leadership begins with managing agreements and not the people. It begins with a respectful, healthy dialog between a leader and a team member, in an adult-adult working relationship. Far too many times that relationship becomes like a parent/child relationship and the conversation is, “Do what I say….and no complaining or backtalk!” Sound familiar? Maybe when you were growing up? This is an example of an unhealthy relationship in the workplace.

In his book, 100 Ways to Motivate Others, Steve Chandler states, “The biggest beneficial impact of managing agreements is on communication. It frees communication up to be more honest, open and complete” (50). However, this healthy communication has to begin with the leaders first. They need to be the role model and mentor for the healthy behaviors they want to see. When the leader keeps his or her agreements and models how to keep the agreements, it gives others permission to be the same way.

Some keys to making sure that your leadership style is the model of keeping agreements:

  • Take a deep heartfelt look at your life. Do you keep agreements with yourself? Do you keep your agreements with your family, friends and colleague?
  • Make a conscious effort to pay attention to what comes out of your mouth. You may be saying one thing and doing another.
  • If you haven’t been as honest or living in the integrity you want to, tell the truth and admit it. When others see that you are human and you acknowledge your shortcomings, they will have more respect for you.
  • Acknowledge yourself for the commitments you do keep.
  • Before you meet with a team member to discuss agreements, set an intention for an adult-adult healthy dialog.
  • Document the agreement and review it.
  • Acknowledge your team members when they keep their agreements! Your actions are a positive reinforcement for the behavior you want to see!

Creating a culture of healthy responsible people, who keep agreements, can have a profound effect on your team environment and in turn your customers and profits with will reflect the results.