What are Your Triggers?

What happens to you when you get triggered by something in your world?

Maybe it’s something as simple as a slow driver in traffic and you are late to work?

Or maybe it a negative comment from your Mother?

Or maybe something your partner did….or DIDN’T do?

Or maybe your boss pointed out something wrong with the project you put your heart and soul into?

All of these can be triggers for you, in turn causing an upset inside of you.

Then what happens? Rage, anger, bitterness and resentment? Suffering inside?

These are all normal human responses to your world.  However, you DO have choices that you can make between the stimulus and response of what is happening inside of you.

You can choose to:

  1. Explode your emotions, yell and scream, blame everyone and everything for your upset.
  2. Hide your upset, emotions and keep it all locked up inside.
  3. Feel your feelings. See what is the deeper level of the trigger. Take responsibility for your upset. Heal the wound inside of you.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
~Viktor E. Frankl

You DO have a choice.

I can share with you from personal experience, that #1 and #2 don’t resolve the suffering inside.  In the past, not knowing any better, I unconsciously choose the screaming response. It is not very attractive and it took much of my precious energy.

Then there was a period in my life where I thought that being quiet and keeping my anger inside and diffused was a better choice.  Repressing emotions, also not a good choice as it manifested into illness in my body.

Have you experienced the pain of an upset and unconsciously choose response #1 or #2?

If you want to find a resolution to your upset and bring peace to yourself, then response #3 is the best choice. However, it takes conscious awareness of what’s going on inside of you AND the willingness to take responsibility for your upset.

“Only you can take dominion over your consciousness.”~ Dr. Mary Hulnick

If, in the midst of the space between your stimulus and response of your trigger, you choose response #3, here are the steps I suggest you move through to find freedom from the suffering inside of yourself:

  1. Recognize the trigger and give yourself some space.
  2. Feel your feelings, angry, upset, mad….allow yourself to FEEL them.
  3. Take 100% responsibility for your upset.
  4. Rise above your life as an observer and see what is really happening.
  5. Look to see what the upset is REALLY about…then go deeper. The thing is never the thing.
  6. Move into self-forgiveness for any judgements you might have towards yourself and others.
  7. Now as you have released your judgments, you can see the truth in the situation.
  8. Repeat as necessary.

“Every time one person heals an issue, all of humanity evolves.” ~Dr. Ron Hulnick

You do have the power to heal your triggers and upsets. Peace and freedom are on the other side of the suffering.

nourish-your-soulMaybe you are dealing with a trigger and upset right now in your life.

Ask yourself how bad do you want to heal?

Are you ready to see the truth?

Are you ready to take responsibility for your own upset without blaming another person?

Are you ready heal your own suffering?

If you are ready, use these steps to begin your healing.

I would love to hear your feedback in how this post can support you in finding peace and freedom from your suffering. And as always, if you need some support with this, I invite you to reach out to me.

Much love,

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I am the one who chooses.

“Grace is perfect, even when my life isn’t.”  ~Deepak Chopra:

Manifesting Grace through Gratitude Meditation

Have you ever experienced a time when you felt like you were hit with one crisis after another?

As I consciously let go of more chaos, noise and clutter in my life, I am experiencing these “crises” differently.

While journaling in my morning pages last week, this poem came forward from me to write. I want to share it with you:

Life is filled with joys, sorrows, traumas and happiness. Each experience is in service for me to learn.

I am the one who chooses.

I choose how to experience it.

I choose to see the truth or the lie.Lesson 6 - powerful in all decision making

I choose to act or react.

I choose to see the lesson or the story.

I choose joy or sorrow.

I choose love or fear.

I choose to see the truth, the right action, the healing lesson, the joy and the love.

I have the power of my own choice.

I am the one who chooses.

Since I wrote this, I have been challenged with a few “crises” and came back to the poem as a powerful reminder of the choices I had.

I hope it supports you when your life isn’t perfect.

With much love and gratitude,

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When Lessons Present Themselves: Shifting from Upset to Equanimity

Yesterday was a day for lessons to be learned.  I wouldn’t have guessed it when I began the day, but by the end of the evening, I could see that I was being tested.  And by this morning I could see that the universe was truly speaking to me loud and clear!  I acknowledged my upset, was able to process it, and then find a place of equanimity in each situation I was presented with.

Here are the scenarios.  Midday I had to return to my former employer to drop off some important paperwork.  Was I fearful to go to this location after 2 years and painful memories? YES!  Did I want someone else to do this for me? YES!  Did I have the courage to do it anyways? YES!  Was I ok afterwards? YES!

LESSON:  Embrace my power and do what might be uncomfortable. Don’t ask anyone to do what I can do myself.

Evening time, after spending five hours preparing for out of town relatives to come over for a lovely dinner.  The table was set with my fine china and my crystal glasses.  Even Martha Stewart would have been impressed with my table decor!  During dinner, someone drops and breaks one of the dinner plates!  Ouch!  It’s OK, it is replaceable and everyone was OK.  Not even 20 minutes later, one of the crystal glasses is knocked over and shatters!  Ouch! It’s OK, its replaceable and it made the plate crasher not feel so bad.   Was I upset because my plate and glass were broken by other people? YES, but for just a second. The truth is that they are replaceable.

LESSON:  Possessions are just stuff and can be replaced.  I looked around at the loving family who we were sharing a meal with and saw that they were more important than any stuff!

And the last lesson for this whirlwind of 24 hours.  I go outside to our beautiful picturesque backyard that my husband and I spent hours trimming and planting to prepare for the dinner. Our beautiful fig vine that has enveloped the entire north side of the house was dead where it had grown on our patio ceiling.  My husband had accidently clipped a main artery to this beautiful piece of nature art.  Oh no, not the vine!  Was I upset, YES, and only for a second.  I quickly shifted to the realization that it is just a plant and, like a bad haircut,  it will grow back maybe even more beautiful.

LESSON:  In our efforts to rid of overgrowth and debris, we let go of something we hadn’t intended to.  We let it go of it anyways and will focus on the future growth.  

How did I shift from upset to equanimity in each situation?

1.  I acknowledged my feelings of upset.  It is a normal human reaction.  

2.  I rose above the situation and saw it with out any ego attachment that would make someone wrong.

3.  I saw the facts and truth in the situation.

4.  I looked towards my future actions that I would need to do.

5.  In my heart, I forgave myself for any judgments I may have had towards others or myself.

6.  I let it go.

7.  I looked for the lesson in each situation and kept that in my heart.

Three different times in a 24 hour period my emotions were triggered.  First with fear, then with upset (x 2).  Each time, I acknowledged my feelings, processed them in a healthy way and looked for the lesson in each situation.  Equanimity is finding that place of emotional balance that helps me keep the peace inside of me.  I find that with each lesson I can find that place of equanimity quicker each time, despite what challenges my every day life offers me.

Next time you find yourself in and an emotional state, try following the steps listed above and you too will find that peace inside of you.