What the Babies Taught me About Leadership

(Cuteness alert!) Have you ever learned a life lesson from someone you least expected to?

I have spent the past three months learning lessons from my beautiful twin granddaughters, Morgan and Natalie, who were born on December 15, 2016.

IMG_4092 (Edited)

I was blessed to have my daughter and her newborns stay with me and my husband in our Tucson home. She wanted to be near family as she learned to navigate life with her new babies for the first 3 months of their lives.

Was life in our home crazy? 

Yes, especially night time feedings. She would take one baby and I would take the other…multiple times a night.

Yikes….talk about sleep deprivation!  

I learned so much about my self leadership while caring for these adorable babies.

Who would have thought that they would teach me?

This was the most rewarding and exhausting experience AND I feel so blessed that I could spend this most important time with all of them.

IMG_4217Here are the self leadership lessons these beautiful angels taught me:

1.  BE PRESENT IN THE MOMENT.  These little ones are demanding and if I wasn’t present in my attention and my loving, they could feel it. One day I was trying to check emails on my phone, which was on my leg, while feeding Morgan.

She wanted my attention and in her beautiful innocence, kicked my phone off my leg sending it crashing to the tile floor….cracking the screen….ouch!  I heard you Morgan, loud and clear….pay attention when I’m feeding you!

2. MY SELF-CARE IS A MUST. I learned this quickly because sleep deprivation affects EVERYTHING. These babies needed 24/7 care, so we had to do what we could when they were sleeping, which wasn’t always at the same time. I ended up with a 3 week cold that wouldn’t go away. My immune system was taxed!

Both my daughter and I had to make sure that we each had a nap during the day.

My morning meditation practice was never the same. Some days I was rocking a baby to sleep while listening to my meditation recording.  It was even a challenge to get out and take a walk in the neighborhood just to move my body.

I needed to squeeze my self-care activities into the day so that I could fill my cup and continue to give to them. Some days were better than others.

3.  DO THE MOST IMPORTANT THING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.  This entire experience of co-caring for the babies was THE most important thing. I put all my networking meetings aside. I was VERY select about the clients I did business with during this time.

In the last month of their stay, I found myself focusing on my quality time with the babies. I would let them nap on me instead of rushing to get dishes or laundry done.  I would play on the floor with them instead rushing to check my email or social media.

4. LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART.  Babies are just bundles of love. They exude love, innocence and purity and you can see it in their eyes. All they want is love, security and to be cared for.

Isn’t that what you and I want today as adults….love, security and to be cared for? Looking into their eyes every day cracked my heart wide open AND it made me remember my own love, innocence and purity.

Loving them opened me up to even more loving of myself. Caring for them was an expression of love that I felt deep within my Soul.

Each day I cared for them, these lessons were brought in front of me and allowed me to make honoring choices for myself.IMG_0146

I see how easy it can be for new parents to forget about themselves and give themselves over to the babies or whomever someone might be caring for.

Have you ever forgotten about yourself when you get wrapped up in caring for someone or even a big project at work?

Each one of these lessons were brought to my attention at the perfect time. I didn’t always make the best choice at first, and that is where my learning came in.

The babies were just the beautiful experience for me to learn more about myself and how I lead my life. (more cuteness below!)

I invite you to look in your life right now and see where an experience is in front of you to learn some lessons. It may be disguised as exhaustion, suffering or lack of something.

Look deeper into the situation and see where you can make honoring choices in your life that support your total well being.

As always, if you need some support with what you discover, give me a call as I would love to support you in living your best life!

Much love,

 

 

 

 

PS….here is more cuteness of Morgan and Natalie to drink up!
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Speaking the Unspoken

SPEAKING THE UNSPOKEN.
How many conversations do you have in your head that you want to say to someone, but don’t.

You don’t want to hurt their feelings.pc-head
You don’t want to explode on them.
You want to be nice.

So you shut down. You keep your unspoken words inside.

Then every time you see them again, the thoughts come up again. Then you shut them down again.

These thoughts, unspoken words, are also attached to some feelings inside of you. So when you suppress the words, you also suppress the feelings.

Without my awareness, I had a few of these unspoken conversations running in my head and heart. I didn’t realize what they were doing inside of me.

Last week they all came bubbling up when I least expected and I had a breakdown. I found myself in tears. My body reflected it and I felt flu symptoms. In this tearful mess, I could see that something desperately needed my attention.

With the support of my loving husband, my mentor and my sacred sisters, they held space for me to inquire why this was happening.

What I discovered was that I had shut down my voice. I had kept these unspoken conversations to certain people in my life, running in my head and had suppressed the feelings attached to them.

So I gave myself the space of a Sunday afternoon and wrote the unspoken words to each person that I wanted to say.

Some messages were short and to the point.journaling
Some brought tears of sadness.
One message brought out my ANGER and DISGUST. It was 5 pages long and filled with cuss words.

Wow, what a release! Was I holding all of this in? No wonder it began leaking out of me.

I could see that from this exercise of writing my unspoken words, it allowed me to see if I needed to take the next step. Some needed a personal conversation, some needed nothing as this writing was enough.

But one needed a hand written truth letter that spoke from the deepest part of me. My truth. My voice. My feelings.

Vulnerable and raw, I wrote 3 versions of the letter and drove it to the post office yesterday.

My heart was racing as I opened the mailbox. Boom….let it go! Its out there now.

They might be pissed off when they read it. They might rip it up and laugh. They might burn it. I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY DO WITH IT.

This was my release of my unspoken words. This was me knowing my truth inside of me and finally stepping in to my fear and having it heard.

My breakdown and then breakthrough did not happen to me.
It happened FOR me.
It was time to release and heal.
It was in service to what miracles are awaiting me!
I now have some newfound energy and light inside of me!

Do you have some unspoken conversations inside of you?
Give yourself some time and space and ask yourself if there is something you want to say to someone else, but haven’t.

What is your truth? What does your voice want to say?

As I have moved through the power of this experience, I can see how important it is for me to share this with you.

Are you ready for your FREEDOM inside?

I would love to hear your feedback in how this post can support you in finding peace and freedom from your suffering. And as always, if you need some support with this, I invite you to reach out to me.
Much love,

 

 

 

 

What are Your Triggers?

What happens to you when you get triggered by something in your world?

Maybe it’s something as simple as a slow driver in traffic and you are late to work?

Or maybe it a negative comment from your Mother?

Or maybe something your partner did….or DIDN’T do?

Or maybe your boss pointed out something wrong with the project you put your heart and soul into?

All of these can be triggers for you, in turn causing an upset inside of you.

Then what happens? Rage, anger, bitterness and resentment? Suffering inside?

These are all normal human responses to your world.  However, you DO have choices that you can make between the stimulus and response of what is happening inside of you.

You can choose to:

  1. Explode your emotions, yell and scream, blame everyone and everything for your upset.
  2. Hide your upset, emotions and keep it all locked up inside.
  3. Feel your feelings. See what is the deeper level of the trigger. Take responsibility for your upset. Heal the wound inside of you.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
~Viktor E. Frankl

You DO have a choice.

I can share with you from personal experience, that #1 and #2 don’t resolve the suffering inside.  In the past, not knowing any better, I unconsciously choose the screaming response. It is not very attractive and it took much of my precious energy.

Then there was a period in my life where I thought that being quiet and keeping my anger inside and diffused was a better choice.  Repressing emotions, also not a good choice as it manifested into illness in my body.

Have you experienced the pain of an upset and unconsciously choose response #1 or #2?

If you want to find a resolution to your upset and bring peace to yourself, then response #3 is the best choice. However, it takes conscious awareness of what’s going on inside of you AND the willingness to take responsibility for your upset.

“Only you can take dominion over your consciousness.”~ Dr. Mary Hulnick

If, in the midst of the space between your stimulus and response of your trigger, you choose response #3, here are the steps I suggest you move through to find freedom from the suffering inside of yourself:

  1. Recognize the trigger and give yourself some space.
  2. Feel your feelings, angry, upset, mad….allow yourself to FEEL them.
  3. Take 100% responsibility for your upset.
  4. Rise above your life as an observer and see what is really happening.
  5. Look to see what the upset is REALLY about…then go deeper. The thing is never the thing.
  6. Move into self-forgiveness for any judgements you might have towards yourself and others.
  7. Now as you have released your judgments, you can see the truth in the situation.
  8. Repeat as necessary.

“Every time one person heals an issue, all of humanity evolves.” ~Dr. Ron Hulnick

You do have the power to heal your triggers and upsets. Peace and freedom are on the other side of the suffering.

nourish-your-soulMaybe you are dealing with a trigger and upset right now in your life.

Ask yourself how bad do you want to heal?

Are you ready to see the truth?

Are you ready to take responsibility for your own upset without blaming another person?

Are you ready heal your own suffering?

If you are ready, use these steps to begin your healing.

I would love to hear your feedback in how this post can support you in finding peace and freedom from your suffering. And as always, if you need some support with this, I invite you to reach out to me.

Much love,

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Your Way of Being

Are you like most of us and create a long “to-do” list every day?  Call this person, email that person, work on this project, etc. I know it helps me keep track of what needs to get done in my personal and professional life.

But what I’ve discovered to be more important than my “to-do” list is my “way of being” as I’m moving through the doing in life.

Before I dive into my list, I ask myself how am I being. positive-self-talk

Am I being kind to myself or am I judging myself?

Am I confident inside myself or do I have a critical voice running in my head?

Am I being patient with myself and others or am I being impatient and rushing?

Am I living in the present or am I focusing on the past or the future?

Am I being honest with myself or am I living the lie of an old story that keeps me small?

I have found that when I begin my day with being centered and focus on my way of being, how I am and how I intend to be, that strength inside is what drives me.

My centered way of being is also what I exude when I interact with others.

I challenge you to look at your “to-do” list right now (I know you have one!), get centered and ask yourself how you want “to-be” as you continue to move through your day. Ask yourself the questions I listed above.

I guarantee you that when you shift your energy and your way of being to be more kind, compassionate and loving with yourself, you show up with more inner peace and authentic power to navigate the rest of your “to-do” list.

Give it a try. I’d love to hear it works for you.

 

Much love,

signature.chris_smaller

 

 

 

What can you do?

What can you do?

It seems like every day more chaos erupts in the world.

How does it make you feel? Angry, bitter, hateful? It might be easy to jump to these negative feelings.

But adding hate to hate does not solve the problem. And you can’t solve the world’s problems yourself.

What can you do in your world to make a difference?

First, you can send love and blessings to all the individuals connected with the violent situations. You can send this love and light to all concerned for their highest good.

Next, look to see where you might have chaos in your life. Where do you have judgements towards others?

Where do you create separation from others?

Then you can look to see if you are open to forgiving your judgments towards the other person or persons. This can be tricky as I suggest forgiving your judgments against the person, not forgiving the person.

This doesn’t condone their behavior, but it releases you from your suffering. This is your barrier to loving energy.

Then send love and light to the other person. They don’t even have to know. Have compassion for both of you. See the truth in whatever the situation might be.

Be the loving example.

I have asked myself this question recently, “What can I do?” I have taken a deep dive myself into what my chaos is. Yes, I still get triggered and upset at situations…I’m still human!

I easily found the person(s) whom I had judgements towards. I moved through the forgiveness process. I have sent the love. I actually send them love and light every day in my prayers.

What would it feel like for you to release your chaos?

Peaceful, free, expansive, open, and light.  I know because this is what I’m feeling now that I am in the process of healing the chaos in my heart.

What would the world be like if we all took responsibility for our chaos and took action to heal it?

This may only be an small step, yet the world is ready for many small steps of healing. This reminds me of the quote by my beloved mentor, Dr. Ron Hulnick from the University of Santa Monica;

vision1Every time one person resolves one issue, all of humanity evolves.”

I challenge you to take a look into your world. Maybe your chaos and judgment is towards another person, or maybe it is towards yourself.

How can you heal yourself and let it be part of the collective healing of humanity.

That’s what you can do. 

Sending you much love, light and healing,

signature.chris_smaller

 

 

Asleep at the Wheel of Life

Is your life on autopilot? Do you move through the motions to make it through each day?

Do you get up, take care of your family, go to work, take care of everyone and everything at work, come home at the end of the day and take care of everyone and everything AGAIN…then crash at the end of the day? 

Does this sound familiar? You might be asleep at the wheel of life.asleep-at-the-wheel-commercial

Here are some other indicators that you might be asleep:

  • Everyone else comes first and you are last on your list.
  • You find yourself bitter, angry and resentful because no one helps you.
  • You keep doing more, hoping for happiness.
  • You “forget” about your self care.
  • You feel like life is passing you by.
  • You have no energy.
  • You feel like you are living a lie.

I know what it is like, because I was asleep at the wheel of my own life.

Not too long ago I was living the life I thought was planned out for me. I had my personal and professional life in order…or so I thought.

I made it look good on the outside with my smile and my mask of happiness. On the inside, I was lost and empty.

I didn’t see the dysfunction I was immersed in. I didn’t see the crazy behavior I was a part of. I didn’t see how unhealthy my choices were. I didn’t see that there were options to find peace and happiness. I was too afraid to look at my own life.

Have you ever felt this insanity too?

It took the 2×4 of crisis for me to slow down and take that deep honest look at my life. Once I began the process of waking up, I saw that the more I healed my inner world, then my outer world began to shift. After a decade of inner transformation myself, now I support women and men to wake up to their lives!

honor yourselfIt is time to wake up.

If you feel an inner calling to awaken to your life, the time is now!

I have a 5 step process that will support you:

  1. Slow down.  Create quiet time every day just for yourself and your inner reflection. This could be a morning meditation, prayer, journaling or all of the above.
  2. Become aware of your life. Pay attention to what disturbs your peace. What upsets you…and why? What brings you joy…and why? Be curious, without judgment, to all of your life.
  3. Choose what honors you and your highest good. In the space of awareness of your life, now you can make the choice to let go of the old behaviors, habits and patterns that don’t serve you. You can simultaneously choose to bring more joy and upliftment into your life.
  4. Take action. Every step you take in the awakening process can be exciting AND fear filled. Take action anyways! Taking action despite the fear is called courage. Take one step at a time to honor yourself. Feel the feelings before, during and after each action step. Resistance might show up and know that it is a normal process. Inquire inside about the resistance (which is usually fear) and continue taking action.
  5. Create support structures. Waking up to your life requires support. This can be family, friends, therapists, coaches, communities in addition to asking for support from God (Spirit, Universe, Creator, Source…whatever fits for you) and other spiritual resources.

A decade ago I couldn’t have guessed where I would be today in my life, relationships and career. Because of my own awakening to my life, I have created the life and work of my dreams! I continue to be keenly aware in my life and move to a place of peace much quicker than I may have in the past.

The more I continue to do my inner work, I can take my clients that that deep place of healing as well.

I feel so blessed to share my gifts to support others moving through their awakening. As they wake up, then they become the mentors and role models for others in their life.

As each one of us awakens, we expand the ripple effect of light and illumination to the world.

Hand Made Heart HD Wallpaper

If you feel like this is your time to wake up, I invite you to call me. I would love to support you and your awakening. The time is now!

Much love,

signature.chris_smaller

Skipping Over The Pain

Who wants to feel pain?  If you hurt yourself physically such as spraining your ankle, you take a pain reliever….right? You eliminate the pain and suffering. It helps you tolerate the pain and still get on with life.

Yet what happens when you feel emotional pain?

Do you automatically take a pain reliever? A pain reliever for emotional pain might be…

…avoidance.no pain

…busyness.

…justification.

…alcohol or drugs.

…any combination of these “pain relievers” listed above.

Again, who wants to feel pain?

Not too long ago, I was an expert at skipping over my own pain.

My feelings of anger, resentment and bitterness were pushed down with avoidance and busyness.  I even created a story that justified my actions.  No one knew how often I shoved down my upset feelings.

I just kept plugging away at my life and skipping over my pain.

Seriously I was so good at skipping over any pain. I was also the one who took ibuprofen and cold medicine at the first sign of physical pain or illness.  I didn’t have time for the pain.

What I didn’t see was the manifestation of my actions. It was adding to my stress and anxiety in life. I was totally drained physically and actually moved to a place of numbness in my emotions.

emotions4I was so numb, I wasn’t even aware when I skipped the pain. My actions had become unconscious.

Until I finally had hit my threshold of silent suffering and asked for help.

When I first started seeing my therapist, she could see how numb I was. I had stuffed my anger and put on my big smile (my mask) so long it took a while before I could feel the anger and upset.

Needless to say, she and I worked together to help me feel the anger and release it in a safe way.  Pillows, plastic bats, yelling and screaming…I got so much out!

It was like I popped the cork and let the sh** flow out!

My life began to shift once I began to feel my emotions, especially the upsetting ones. Mad, anger, resentful, sadness, shame, guilt…I was finally able to feel them all and let them flow from me instead of avoiding them.

Coincidently at this time I also became allergic to over the counter pain medication! Now I had to feel the pain…of my physical and emotional pain.

Do you ever find yourself skipping over your pain?

Do you ignore it, avoid it and stay busy to not experience it?

Do you medicate your emotional pain?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, know that you are not alone. It is part of our human conditioning to avoid pain AND if you desire to live a fulfilling and healthy life, it is necessary to feel ALL your emotions.

Here are some steps to support you in this process.

  1. When you feel a disturbance of your peace inside, your physiology is triggered. This is your indicator that some emotion is coming up. DON’T SKIP OVER THE FEELINGS!
  2. Stop what are doing, take a personal break from what you are doing and give yourself some space to inquire inside. STEP AWAY!
  3. Ask yourself, “What’s going on inside of me?” Don’t sugar coat it, ask for the truth and allow the emotion to come up. SEE THE TRUTH!
  4. Your feeling might be anger or sadness…both are very real and important feelings. If you are feeling the anger, grab a pen and paper and write down what is coming up for you. I call this “Free Form Writing” where you kinesthetically release your upset emotions on to the paper. You just write every dirty word, uncensored, raw and real words that want to come up.  DON’T REREAD WHAT YOU WROTE! This is a healthy release of upset emotions and and opportunity for you to tap into what’s really going on inside of you.
  5. As you release your anger, you might feel like crying.  LET YOUR TEARS FLOW! Your tears flow as a release from any emotion that may have been blocked. Don’t judge your crying as weak as it is imperative that you allow them to flow.
  6. Remember, don’t reread what you wrote in your Free Form Writing. Crumple up your paper and BURN IT IN A SAFE PLACE.
  7. Move to a place of love and compassion for yourself.  APPLY LOVING AND LIGHT to the parts that hurt.
  8. Repeat these steps as needed when you feel an upset inside. Your personal self-inquiry is so important as you will find out what’s really going on inside of you. FIND YOUR HEALTHY RELEASE!

The more you can identify and feel your upsetting emotions, the more you will be able to feel the good emotions like joy, happiness, fulfillment and love.

I use these tools in my life to support my mental, emotional and physical health. And there are still times that I find emotions5myself skipping over my feelings. I am blessed to work with an amazing coach and spiritual teacher who helps me see my blind spots when I’m unconsciously skipping over my pain.

I continue to do my own inner work and do my own self-inquiries about my feelings in my life.  As I do my own work, it strengthens me so I can support my clients and the people in my life.

To bring this poignant topic home, I am sharing more lyrics from Carly Simon’s song, “Haven’t Got Time For the Pain” that bring this full circle:

Suffering was the only thing that made me feel I was alive
Though that’s just how much it cost to survive in this world
’til you showed me how, how to fill my heart with love
How to open up and drink in all that white light
Pouring down from the heaven
I haven’t got time for the pain
I haven’t got room for the pain
I haven’t the need for the pain
Not since I’ve known you”

Fill your heart with self-compassion and love. “Open up and drink in all that white light pouring down from heaven.”

If this blog post touches your emotions and resonates with you, I’d love to hear your comments or questions in the comment section below.

If you desire more support in understanding more about your feelings, I invite you to call me so I can support you in finding more peace, happiness and fulfillment in your life.

Much love,

signature.chris_smaller

 

 

 

If you change nothing, then nothing will change.

On November 3rd I had the honor of facilitating a workshop at the YWCA Southern Arizona 27th Annual Leadership Conference.

It was such a powerful day inspiration, transformation and change opportunities for all the women who attended.sold out room YWCA

My workshop was about Emotional Intelligence at Work and I had room filled to capacity (and a few others snuck in and stood in the back of the room) with 87 women.

It was an awesome experience for me to fill a room!

What I heard from so many of these women was;

“I know I need to work on strengthening myself.”
“I know I need to work on my Emotional Intelligence skills.”
“I am always filled with anxiety and stress.”
“I want to learn how to connect with others better.”

Yet when I invited these women to a deeper conversation to support them, their fear kicked in and said, “no, not now.”

If not now, then when? If you change nothing, then nothing will change.

I know that it is not easy to take an honest look at your life. I know because I avoided taking a look at my life for a long time. In my busyaholic life, I didn’t have time to look at my life.

I denied that anything was wrong with me…..I was happy with my life……really, I was was happy with my life….really, every thing as ok. (You couldn’t see my pain inside from my mask on the outside!)

I was afraid of the truth, I knew it would hurt.

I was afraid of changing, I feared the unknown.

I was afraid of disappointing others, I didn’t want to hurt anyone.

Yet I do know that when I finally took an honest long look at my life, without judgement, I could see what wasn’t working. I could see what behaviors I needed to change. I could see that if I continued to deny my truth and my voice, than nothing would change.

If not now, then when? If you change nothing, then nothing will change.

If you know that some areas in your life need your attention, now is the time.  Not 10 years from now when your suffering has doubled (I’ve done that too!).

Today I live a radiant life.

I took 100% responsibility for my happiness and took the steps to create the life and work of my dreams. It took one step, and then another, and then another.

It begins with a commitment to a better life and the change inside that creates that.

Are you ready to stop thinking about change and ready to take action?

Is it time for you to step into your dream life?

NOW IS THE TIME.

Come join me to begin your New Year of 2016.
YOUR YEAR OF CHANGE!
I want to invite you say YES to yourself and join me at:

RADIANT LIVING INTENSIVE

Building Your Success Roadmap for 2016

Saturday January 23, 2016

Skyline Country Club, Tucson Arizona

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Registration begins next week, so get your name on the pre-registration list now!

Email me at christine@heartfeltworkforce.com 

I look forward to connecting with you and holding the sacred space for you to create your success roadmap for 2016!

Here’s to a radiant YOU in the New Year!

Much love and gratitude,

 

Your Power and Grace

When do you give up your power?

Do you stand up for your truth and your voice?

Do you allow grace into your life?

Are you even aware of the grace available to you?

Power Up 2016

“Power Up for 2016” Speaker line up

I know many women who unconsciously give up their power to others in their lives.  They have a small voice and life a small life.

I also know many women who live their lives on GO and run through life and totally miss the grace and blessing in their lives.

I had the opportunity to speak at the “Power Up for 2016” event sponsored by Good to Glam this past Tuesday and speak to about 100 women.  My topic was “Leading with Power and Grace: Your Secret Success Sauce”.

Every speaker had a powerful message to share with these women.

I spoke about some of the unconscious behaviors we have as women and how they hold us back.

Without realizing it, you might be holding yourself back and sabotaging your success by the following actions:
  1. Having negative conversations with yourself and creating a your reality from that space,
  2. Giving up or not recognizing the power you have inside you.
  3. Judging yourself….not good enough…not smart enough…not enough fill in the blank.
  4. Being a people pleaser and trying to make everyone else happy and you end up empty.
  5. Limiting yourself and your full potential, staying small and safe.

When you open your eyes to your life, your truth and your voice, then you can see the amazing potential you have inside you to to own your Power and and your Grace.

What is your secret sauce to success?

  1. Becoming aware of your Inner World.
  2. Awakening to Your Truth and Your Voice.
  3. Letting go of anything that is holding you back from you living your best life.
  4. Aligning your Inner World first for your outer world success.
  5. Embracing and living in your authentic POWER and GRACE.

You have the potential for so much in your life.  Let go of the smallness of your past and stand in the Glory of who you truly are!

Make today the day you put a stake in the ground to live your best life!
With much love and gratitude,

 signature.chris_smaller

 

I am here to be seen.

Have you ever felt like you wanted to be invisible so no one can see you? Where it is easier to blend into the woodwork and hide?

“I am here to be seen.”  I could hear those words coming from my own mouth, but my voice cracked and got real small.

One of the first activities Robert Holden shared with me and 87 other coaches this past July at the University of Santa Monica Soul-Centered Coaching Lab, was to partner with someone and say these words.  And their response was, “I see you.” Each morning we spent about 5 minutes partnering with different people to speak both of these messages and show that we were present and open to be seen.

Robert guided us each of our 5 days through this activity to begin our day of learning with him.

“I am here to be seen” and “I see you.”

Here is 7 year old Chrissy 🙂

After realizing how “small” my voice became, I focused and shifted my energy to be strong, confident and present. I felt a powerful shift inside myself. And yet……

…….this small voice was not to be ignored.  Whose small voice was this?  Whose voice was struggling with being seen?

It was my little girl. It was little Chrissy.  She was hesitant about being seen. Her belief was that if you are seen, then people will make fun of you.

With the help of my coach and doing some self-inquiries, I discovered that my sweet 7 year old experienced a little trauma that shut  her down and created a fear about “being seen.”

I remember being in the 2nd grade and our teacher was introducing us to oral reports. I was so excited about this experience that I raised my hand and said I wanted to go first the next day.

Right away I knew that I wanted to do a report on a flower that intrigued me.  I went home with so much energy inside to find out facts about this flower so I could share in my report.

So the next day, I was loaded with enthusiasm and excitement.

I was first to share and then sat down with a huge smile on my face.  However, after I listened to each report by the other students, my excitement diminished.

Everyone else’s reports were better than mine.  Mine was boring in comparison.

Yes, I compared their reports to mine and it was no longer special and exciting. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my work.

chrissy 7 yrs

Sweet little Chrissy 🙂

In my 7 year old mind, I compared my work to others and it wasn’t good enough.

In my 7 year old mind, I created separation.

In my 7 year old mind, the other kids were better and smarter than me.

I experienced comparison and then separation.

The message I created in my 7 year old mind was, “Don’t raise your hand, you will embarrass yourself; Your work isn’t as good at the other kids; It’s better to not be seen than be embarrassed”

This stuck with me for a long time. I learned how to hide in the woodwork  and not be seen. That was easier and safe.

Isn’t it interesting to see how the perception of a small child can create a belief that stays with them through their adult life?

Can you relate to judging yourself as not being good enough and comparing yourself to others?

Fast forward to the present:

I’ve spent the past 6 years growing my coaching/consulting practice and “being seen” in front of many groups.  I still get squeamish and nervous when I get in front of a crowd.  And yes, my voice cracks sometimes.

I have been working on healing those little wounds and changing my beliefs around being seen.

I have done some inner work with little Chrissy to let her know that its ok to been seen.  There is nothing to fear or be embarrassed about.

I let her know that what she has to say and share with the world, matters.

I let her know that she is learning and sometimes that means failing and trying again.

I let her know that she is loved and she doesn’t have anything to fear.

I’m the adult and I will be seen for both of us.

She is part of me, and as I’m healing this part of me, I can own my power and my grace to be seen.

Sometimes it is the little traumas that we don’t realize are getting in our way.

When your little one gets in the way of your success, it is time to take a look at who is really showing up in your life.

Ask yourself this question…….Is it your adult, or your little one, who is blocking your success? 

Here I am posing on the big stage at the eWomenNetwork Conference!

Here I am posing on the big stage at the eWomenNetwork Conference!

Fast forward to today:

I am being guided to make a bigger presence and bigger impact to share my message to bigger groups. I met an amazing speaker coach at the eWomenNetwork International Conference in August who is helping me strengthen my skills as a professional speaker and messenger.

I am standing in MY truth and sharing with the world my message about living consciously and creating more peace, love and equanimity in our lives.

I am standing in MY truth and teaching practical tools to women and men, about how to eliminate their self imposed suffering with worry, anxiety, fear and anger.

I am standing in MY truth and doing my own inner work and be the change I want to see in the world.

I am standing in MY truth to learn, grow and evolve as a professional coach, trainer AND speaker to share my message  with the world.

Can you relate to my story either as a child or an adult? Where are you hiding in your life?

I am here to be seen. And I see you.

With much love and gratitude,

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